Too Many Managers Comic Strips - Page 7
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591 Results for Too Many Managers
View 61 - 70 results for too many managers comic strips. Discover the best "Too Many Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 14,
2013
Tags #distress, #work ethic, #managers meet, #effectiveness, #promotions, #boss fight for
Transcript
Boss: When the managers meet to talk about promotions, I'll fight for you. Alice: Are you saying my future depends on your effectiveness and not mine? Boss: This went differently than I expected. Alice: Why?! Why?! Why?!
Saturday March 01,
2014
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #obstinacy, #studies show, #offering customers, #problem, #prevent success, #many otions, #hinderance
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show that offering customers too many options can prevent them from buying. Boss: Studies?? That doesn't sound like a real thing. Dilbert: I don't know what to do now. Boss: Maybe that's the problem.
Thursday March 20,
2014
Tags #employees, #work ethic, #managers should hire, #clear expectations, #micromanaging, #employee engement, #business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say managers should hire great people and set clear expectations. They don't say what to do when you get the first part wrong, but I'm leaning toward micromanaging. Alice: My employee engagement just went down. Boss: That was never a real thing.
Thursday June 19,
2014
Tags #lying, #non disclosure agreement, #disbelief, #wrong person, #mighty judgy, #so many secrets
Transcript
Man: I need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we start. Wally: We don't need that because no one believes a word I say anyway. Man: Maybe I'm meeting with the wrong person. Wally: You're mighty judgy for a guy with so many secrets.
Monday January 05,
2015
Dating Is A B Testing
Tags #analysis, #comparison, #dating, #first date, #judging, #a-b testing, #click with, #analytics, #measuring, #too many questions, #relationships, #science
Transcript
Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.
Monday January 19,
2015
Hire People Smarter Than You
Tags #insult, #insulting, #insults, #intelligence, #managers, #obliviousness, #Promotion, #samrter, #perfect manager
Transcript
Boss: Are you interested in becoming a manager? Dilbert: That would never work. Managers are supposed to hire people who are smarter than they are. That's easy for you, but how would I ever find anyone to hire? Boss: I don't understand. Dilbert: And that makes you the perfect manager.
Thursday September 08,
2016
Get Multiple Approvals
Tags #managers, #problems, #work, #frustration
Transcript
Boss: You need to get your capital budget approved by all of the department heads. We're in the middle of a reorg, so get approval from both the outgoing and the incoming managers. Dilbert: Someday I hope to solve a problem that is not caused by leadership. Boss: You'll never get that far.
Monday March 12,
2018
Meeting Rooms Are Booked
Tags #meetings, #managers, #scheduling, #conflict
Transcript
Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.
Friday December 07,
2018
Keeping The Worthless People
Tags #boss, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #salary, #incompetence
Transcript
Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.
Wednesday January 02,
2019
Boxes With Names
Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #suspicious, #layoff
Transcript
Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?