Turn Off Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

747 Results for Turn Off

View 61 - 70 results for turn off comic strips. Discover the best "Turn Off" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astrologer, #plotting, #rip off, #astrologer charging, #plotting rip off, #hourly billing, #prefer to call

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sits in meeting next to Dogbert who is dressed in a turban. The boss says, "My atrologer tells me that someone here is plotting to rip me off." Asok says, "How much is your atrologer charging you?" The boss says, "Are you plotting to rip me off?" Dogbert says, "I prefer to call it hourly billing."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shot scapegoat, #nra cook off, #accusations started

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks with the scapegoat whose arm is in a sling. Dilbert says, "I'm sorry you got shot, scapegoat." The scapegoat says, "I'm used to it." The scapegoat says, "The worst was the day I blundered across the National Rifle Association's chili cook-off" The scapegoat says, "At first, verybody wanted to stand near me. Then the accusations started...."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer manufacturer, #threats, #to kill, #freeze up, #supportive police

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom opens her door to two policemen holding guns. Cop one says, "We have a report that you threatened to kill a computer manufacturer." Dilbert's mom pionts to the computer and says, "It freezes up five times a day. I have to unplug it to turn it off." The cops put down their guns. Cop 1 says, "Okay, we're with you. When's it going down?" Dilmom says, "Is tuesday good?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dumpster service, #save money, #discovered alternative costs, #tear off piece

View Transcript

Transcript

At a meeting, the Boss announces: "I cancelled our dumpster service to save money." He continues: "I discovered an alternative that costs nothing." He tells everyone as he hands them a sheet of paper: "Everyone tear off a piece and put it in your pocket."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #turn invisible, #run silent, #make descions, #can't see

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss thinks to himself as Alice approaches, "If I could turn invisible, I wouldn't need to make decisions." The Boss continues to think, "Invisible...invisible...you can't see me." Alice says to the Boss, "I guess we're done." The Boss thinks to himself, "Run silent."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pay slip, #increased complexity, #won't know, #rip off, #clueless, #in the dark, #happy to be evil, #cheat, #evil catbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "We increased the complexity of your pay slip." Catbert yells, "Now you'll never know when we rip you off! Yeeha! Yeeha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "The only part that really bugs me is the yeehas."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #part time work, #finish urgent projects, #pay cut, #come in on day off

View Transcript

Transcript

Noriko asks the Boss, "Would it be okay if I worked part-time?" The Boss answers, "That depends." The Boss continues, "Would you be willing to come in on your days off to finish urgent projects?" Noriko replies, "Yes." Dilbert asks Noriko during lunch, "So, basically you negotiated a fifty percent pay cut?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #positive reinforcement, #addicted, #wearing off, #crazy woman, #drool, #lunch room, #boss words

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I experienced something called positive reinforcement today." Alice continues, "I'm addicted to it now... But it's wearing off... Must get more..." Alice says, "Say something nice about me!" Dilbert chews his lunch as Wally says, "For a crazy woman you don't drool much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dot com ceo, #no profit, #laid off, #laid off means, #compliment, #baby bottle, #youngsters, #meeting, #firing people, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

DILBERT: DOT-COM CEO: Dilbert sits at the head of a table and children sit in seats around the table. One of the children has a baby bottle at his place. Dilbert says, "We have no profit now and we never will. You're all laid off." The child with the baby bottle asks, "Does anyone know what laid off means?" A young man says, "It must be a compliment." The young man says to Dilbert, "You're pretty laid off yourself, dude." The child offers his baby bottle to Dilbert and says, "Want a hit of this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #threw computer, #off roof, #killed customer, #replace, #look a like, #worker, #clones, #coverup

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Alice are sitting at a conference table. The Boss says "Someone threw a computer off the roof and killed our biggest customer." Alice appears shocked. The Boss continues, "We plan to replace him with a lookalike who will continue buying from us." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally. Wally says, "Hey, that's Willy from the club of people who look exactly like me."