Under Paid Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

318 Results for Under Paid

View 61 - 70 results for under paid comic strips. Discover the best "Under Paid" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #cheaper, #employee wellness program, #sick days, #incentives, #highly paid workers, #more fun

View Transcript

Transcript

"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #security guard, #company owned assets, #under clothes, #smuggled out, #pilferage

View Transcript

Transcript

whoa! whoa! where do you think you're going? you look bloated today as if you have company -owned assets under your clothes. I need to stop relying on my instincts.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #main prodcut, #coming off patent, #profits will plunge, #shallowm, #paid for there inventions

View Transcript

Transcript

Our main product is coming off patent. "Profits will plunge and so will my bonus. It's not fair." "Call me shallow. But I enjoy getting paid for other people's inventions." "SHALLOW!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #new engineer, #cheap, #huge raise, #under budget, #static electricity, #fuzzy cute, #dead now

View Transcript

Transcript

Title reads: "Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert is at his desk. He says to Dilbert, "I hired a new engineer for your project." Catbert unveils the new engineer. He is a joke. His tongue hangs out of his mouth, his eyes are wide, his collar is up and one side of his shirt is untucked. Catbert says, "He's never been an engineer before." Dilbert listens as Catbert continues, "But YOU'RE an engineer, so how hard could it be?" Catbert adds, "And he's cheap! I'll get a huge raise for being under budget." Dilbert is getting furious. Catbert exclaims, "And your project will fail! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" As the new engineer reaches towards him, Catbert realizes, "Uh-oh. I laughed myself full of static electricity." The new engineer thinks, "Fuzzy. Cute." and pets Catbert. "Zap!" Dilbert, standing over the body of the new engineer, asks, "He's dead. Now what?" Catbert replies, "I guess you'll have to drag him to the meetings."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #rated good, #you're not good, #company policy, #fire anyone, #hiring freeze, #get paid

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Wally, I'm rating you "good" but not because you are." "Company policy says I have to fire anyone rated lower than good, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire." "So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone." wally: "I can't promise that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2007's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #different classes, #segment, #paid, #relatively unimportant segment

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: I decided to segment the compensation of different classes of employees. "You'll be in the segment that gets paid the same no matter what you do." "I call your segment the 'relatively unimportant' segment." Tina: "Catchy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #totally correct, #time under budget, #give up features, #shoebox falloff yarn, #yarn is free, #open door policy, #serious threat, #new design

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert pokes his head into the boss's office and says: "You were totally correct." Dilbert says to the boss: "We can develop the product on time and under budget." Dilbert says to the boss: "All we have to do is give up some features." Dilbert says to the boss: "For example, the original design called for a scalable wide area network switch..." Dilbert says to the boss while extending his arms: "...with multiprotocol support and full network diagnostics." Dilbert shows a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "The new design calls for a shoebox full of yarn." The boss is looking at the sheet of paper while Dilbert says to him: "So we're in good shape...assuming yarn is free." The boss says to Dilbert: "You're a serious threat to my open door policy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #avoid facts, #cubicle, #paid commissions, #sales engineer, #truth, #sales rep

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm making you a sales engineer. You'll be paid on commission." "When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth." "Try to avoid facts."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #choked pooch, #platform deciosn, #throw under bus, #very bad person, #regional idioms

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Carl choked the pooch on the platform decision. I need you to throw him under the bus. Asok: He sounds like a very bad person, I will take care of that right away. I just found a website that kits regional idioms. Ive done some bad, bed things.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #disgruntled robot, #warranty, #water damage, #mechanical failure, #under warranty

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your leadership made our robot disgruntled. Dilbert: His warranty only covers water damage and mechanical failure. It doesn't cover bad management. The Boss: I don't feel good about this, but its the only way to get you replaced under warranty.