Unproductive Things Comic Strips - Page 7
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442 Results for Unproductive Things
View 61 - 70 results for unproductive things comic strips. Discover the best "Unproductive Things" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 21,
2017
Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes
Tags #human resources, #results, #confidentiality, #progress, #business
Transcript
Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.
Friday March 30,
2018
Call My Lost Phone
Tags #productivity, #unproductive, #cell phone, #ringing, #frustration, #annoy, #annoyance, #technology
Transcript
Boss: I don't know where I left my phone. Can you call it? Dilbert: Sure, but it will make both of us unproductive instead of just you. Narrator: And then there were three. Alice: Gaaaa!!! Where is that ringing coming from???
Wednesday August 08,
2018
Comparing Things
Thursday October 11,
2018
Anticipate Problems
Tags #Wally, #anticipate, #finishing, #friday, #punctual, #anticipating, #things, #problems
Transcript
Man: Do you anticipate any problems finishing by Friday? Wally: I do not. Man: Is that because you're punctual or because you aren't good at anticipating things? Wally: I don't foresee any unforeseen problems. Man: Okay. Wait...
Friday March 25,
2011
Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."
Saturday May 21,
2011
Tags #consensus, #lost and confused, #lateness, #doesn't work
Transcript
Dilbert: There was a consensus in that room that you're not important, so we started without you. we hate you for disrespecting us with your lateness and we expect you'll be lost and confused by th rest of this meeting. Alice: in summary, lateness is one of those things that doesn't work for everyone.
Monday February 21,
2011
Tags #engineers, #laziness, #project budget, #new technology, #slow learner, #expensive
Transcript
Woman says, "You used the entire engineering portion of my project budget just learning the new technology." Wally says, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you." Wally says, "Some say I'm a slow learner, but I like to think of myself as expensive."
Sunday March 06,
2011
Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #proactive, #send email, #bad time management, #creating illuson, #sarcasm, #crazy boss, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "You need to be more proactive." Dilbert says, "I can only appear to be proactive if you stop telling me to do things I've already planned." The Boss says, "How am I supposed to know what you plan to do every minute?" Dilbert says, "I could send you an e-mail every time I have a thought." The Boss says, "I don't have time for that!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your bad time management is creating the illusion that I'm not proactive." Dilbert says, "I'll take the liberty of signing you up for a time management class." The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So...I should not be proactive?" The Boss says, "Just do what I want before I know I want it." Dilbert says, "I hope the next thing you want is sarcasm."
Saturday March 19,
2011
Tags #belittle subordinates, #cruelty, #evil intensions, #fill in, #managers & supervisors, #on vacation, #fill in for boss, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't wait to belittle my subordinates for not doing the things I only imagined telling them to do." The Boss says, "Why would you do that?" Alice says, "Why would you ask that?"
Sunday July 10,
2011
Tags #anger, #quarreling, #mastered art, #being useless, #next level, #toxic, #toxic people, #complain, #personal problems
Transcript
Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.