Used Car Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

342 Results for Used Car

View 61 - 70 results for used car comic strips. Discover the best "Used Car" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #million lines of code, #irrelevent data, #key your car, #no choice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #used coffee sirrer, #watsebacket, #not maid, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "Hey! You left a used coffee stirrer on the counter!!!" Wally: "The wastebasket was one foot away! I am an associate not your maid!!!" "Behold the power of laziness." Carol: "So, I'll throw it away for you THIS TIME."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #new chip, #slower, #claim fastest, #benchmark test, #used old drivers, #wearing a wire, #marketing, #crime, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Our new chip is slower than our competition's products." The Boss: "We'll claim we're the fastest. If anyone does benchmark tests, we'll say they used old drivers." Dilbert: "Whenever I talk to you, I feel like I should be wearing a wire." The boss: "Since when is marketing a crime?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #tainted research, #media, #clebrities, #blood, #environmental issues, #humor, #larry david, #hybrid car, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert:"We need to get you on TV to publicize the tainted research I did." "The media likes celebrities, blood, environmental issues and humor." "Someone pushed a pointy-haired man in front of Larry David's car today."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #car, #late, #cold, #car wouldn't start, #warm out, #wind chill factor, #no actual car, #lied. boss, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: I'm late because my car wouldn't start in the cold. The boss; Its warm outside. allyL theres a little thing called the wind chill factor. Hello - o - o -o!! Dilbert: that was wrong on many levels. wally: Someday Im gotta get a car.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #blinding flashes, #sightless, #didn't drive car, #can't do that

View Transcript

Transcript

Your blinding flashes of the obvius made me sightless for three days. "I hope you didn't drive your car. You're not supoosed to do that when you're blind." "GAAA!!!" "I'm upsetting you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogcart wrecking company, #special, #srushing, #new car, #parking lot, #cost, #monthly plan, #free model of car, #crush little one, #crush boss car

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Wally's desk, wearing a hardhat. Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Wrecking Company." Dogbert continues, "I'm running a special on crushing your boss' new car in the parking lot." Wally asks, "What does it cost?" Dogbert: "The first one is free." Dogbert adds, "If you're satisfied, I hope you'll consider my monthly plan." Wally is standing at the window with Dogbert, pointing outside. "It's the red one. He brags about it every day." The Boss is standing in front of Wally and Dilbert, holding up a model car. The Boss explains, "And when you spend that much, the dealer gives you a free model of your car!" There is a car horn heard off in the distance. Wally is slipping Dogbert a stack of bills. He adds, "And next month can you crush the little one on his desk too?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #company car, #crazy, #data center, #directions, #gadgets, #gps directions, #gps navigation system

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Take a company car and meet a customer at our data center on Montgomery and Pine. Dilbert: I can't drive to an unfamiliar place with Alice. She'll spend the entire trip arguing with the GPS navigation system. Boss: No one does that. Dilbert: Allow me to demonstrate. My phone says we should take this route. Alice: What?! Is it crazy? We are not taking 880! Change your mind! Change your mind! Change your mind! Dilbert: It gets worse. Alice: If you listen to this liar, I will end you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #hired archaeologist, #desk clutter, #copier reapirman, #used tools, #not fast, #found in clutter, #skull of men

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol, I hired famed archaeologist Dogbert to find the budget report in the clutter of your desk. Dogbert: This appears to be a copier repairman skull, possibly a ricoh or kyocera. I think he used tools. Carol: Not fast enough."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #surveillance cameras, #monitor work, #unconscionable assault, #used to cameras

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We've installed surveillance cameras to monitor your work." Catbert says, "It might seem like an unconscionable assault on your privacy, but you'll get used to it." Wally says, "I'm already a little bit used to it." Dilbert says, "Used to what?"