Useless Comic Strips - Page 7

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114 Results for Useless

View 61 - 70 results for useless comic strips. Discover the best "Useless" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2006's comic on:


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It's another day of useless work and no accomplishment. "Luckily I have a meaningful personal life." "Ratbert broke the Xbox." "GAAA!!! I HAVE NOTHING!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #screen savers, #company logo, #corporate rule, #agenda, #meeting, #business

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Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #advice to intern, #don't finish on deadline, #freedom, #overworked, #less time, #nitpick

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wally: Heed my advice, young Asok. Only an idiot finishes a project before the deadline. The less time you give people to nitpick. The more time you have to pretend you are overworked." Freedom is just another word for people finding out you're useless.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #colossal waste, #different light, #less usless, #unimportant, #staff meetings

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Wally says, "I took a class on being less useless. Now I see the world in a different light." Wally says, "For example, I recognize these staff meetings as colossal wastes of time, but there's nothing I can do about them." Wally says, "Now my helplessness makes my uselessness seem unimportant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #project, #length, #add people, #months, #useless, #sit down, #business

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The Boss says, "How long will your project take if I add two people?" Dilbert says, "Add one month for training, one month for the extra complexity, and one month to deal with their drama." The Boss says, "But after all of that?" Dilbert says, "They'll be as useful as this meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #introduce, #ellen, #useless, #annoyed, #waste, #protein, #network, #business

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Dilbert says, "?And this is Ellen. She has no legitimate reason for attending this meeting." Dilbert says, "I assume she's just nosey, or maybe it's a newworking sort of thing." Dilbert says, "And this guy is a total waste of protein." Ellen says, "Maybe next time we should introduce ourselves."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new product, #front, #meeting, #block of wood, #cell phone, #network, #cool, #business, #technology

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Dogbert says, "Our new product is a useless block of wood." Dogbert says, "When customers complain that it won't make phone calls, we'll blame the network." The Boss says, "Who would want? whoa, this is cool." Dogbert says, "You'd be lucky to have one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #colors, #useless, #hatred, #complaining, #business

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The boss says, "At the value stream stand up meeting, all status reports must be in the form of red, yellow, or green." Mauve Ecru Cerulean Puce the boss says, "Sometimes the only point of a meeting is to remind me how much I hate them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #employee, #graduate, #new, #avoiding, #useless, #business

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Man says, "I just got my MBA, and I'm here to solve all of your problems." Dilbert says, "Our products are junk and we're completely out of capital." Man says, "Have you tried jargon?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #budget, #fixing, #failure

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The boss says, "We can only afford to fix the high-priority bugs." Dilbert says, "If we don't fix 100% of the bugs, the software will be 100% useless." Dilbert says, "So our plan is to fail?" The boss says, "More slowly."