Wash Car Comic Strips - Page 7
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Character
150 Results for Wash Car
View 61 - 70 results for wash car comic strips. Discover the best "Wash Car" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 31,
2005
Tags #alice, #boss, #car call, #diustarcted, #made distracted, #driving, #crashed
Transcript
Rrring! Alice : Now what? This is alice. Jo its your boss. alice: GAAA! its a car call. he's using me toenetratin himself while he's sitting in traffic Boss: How everything? Alice: I'll lose and hour of my life if I don't get him off the phone, Boss: Nice weather today. Alice: Do me a favor and look in your brief case to see if my latest report is there. The boss: Okay. The boss: and turn down your radio so Ic an hear you...and check your calendar on you pda GAA!!! CRASH! IM going to hell.
Sunday December 28,
2003
Tags #hired wife, #mean, #condescending, #slave driver, #obnoxious
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired my wife to be our new receptionist." Boss: "I foresee no problems whatsoever." Wife: "Hey, Dipweed!" "Go buy me a bagel and a cappuccino." "Then wash my car and fill the gas tank." "NOW DANCE FOR ME, LITTLE MAN! HA HA! DANCE OR I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED!!!" "How may I help you? Have a nice day!" The boss: "Stop dancing in the lobby. My wife is trying to work."
Sunday December 29,
2002
Tags #last three times, #thought stolen, #parked it, #forgot, #magic powers, #car stolen, #parking lot, #car will appear
Transcript
The Boss says to Carol, "Carol call the police. My car has been stolen." Carol responds, "Is it like the last three times that you thought it had been stolen?" Carol continues, "And later you realized you just forgot where you parked it?" The Boss replies, "No. This time is different. My car is totally gone." Carol puts her hands up in the air and says, "Watch me use my magic powers to make your car reappear in the parking lot." Carol closes her eyes and exclaims, "Presto auto reappearo!!!" Carol says to The Boss, "After all the other cars leave the parking lot, your car will appear." The Boss finds his car in the empty parking lot. He thinks, "Freaky."
Sunday May 05,
2013
Tags #cats & kittens, #surgery, #surgeon, #left something inside, #left stuff, #wallet, #car keys, #cat, #meow, #animals, #medical
Transcript
Carol: It's your surgeon. He says he might have left something inside you. Boss: What??! A sponge? A scalpel? Carol: No... his watch. And... his car keys... and wallet. He says he used your torso to store his valuables while he went for a run. Boss: Meow! Carol: I'll ask about that.
Saturday August 03,
2013
Tags #obliviousness, #office buildings, #work ethic, #prodcutivity, #cubicles, #one clown car
Transcript
Boss: Productivity went down when we moved the engineers from private offices to cubicles. Productivity went down again when we tried to open the office plan. CEO: Have we tried putting all of them in one clown car? Boss: No, but I don't see why that wouldn't work.
Saturday May 24,
2014
Tags #customer survey, #flying car, #idiots, #new software, #people who buy, #survey, #cafe, #coffee cup
Transcript
Dilbert: I have the results of our customer survey. The new software feature they want most is "Flying car" Boss: Did you survey any people who aren't idiots? Dilbert: No, I only surveyed people who buy from us.
Thursday September 11,
2014
Tags #complimenting people, #flattery, #indirect, #made car, #make his own car, #new car, #parking lot
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw you new car in the parking lot. It's nice. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I'm complimenting the people who made your car, not you. Topper: Well, I guess only one of us knows how to make his own car.
Thursday January 22,
2015
Selfie Camera
Tags #frustration, #inventions, #priorities, #selfie, #social media, #selfie camera, #car steering wheels, #ion powered car, #share, #slefies, #facebook, #technology
Transcript
Wally: I heard you invented a selfie camera for car steering wheels. Dilbert: Not exactly. I invented an ion-powered flying car, but all anyone cares about is the selfie camera in the steering wheel. Wally: Can you share the selfies on Facebook? Dilbert: Gaaa!
Saturday May 07,
2016
Entitled Employee Buys A Car
Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism
Transcript
The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.
Tuesday September 06,
2016
Electric Car Project
Tags #manager, #labor, #time, #time management, #obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.