Wishing Death Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

231 Results for Wishing Death

View 61 - 70 results for wishing death comic strips. Discover the best "Wishing Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2003's comic on:


Tags #coffee rehadb, #rip beard, #death, #state name, #coffee addicting withdrawl, #sleeping, #mean, #nasty, #cutting, #violent, #falls asleep, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Coffee Rehab. A man stands at a podium and says, "State your name and how long you've been without coffee." The audience is asleep except for one angry patient who says, "I am going to rip off your little beard and beat you to death with it." The man at the podium thinks to himself, "Don't panic... wait... wait...." The angry patient continues, "And then I'll... um... zzzzzzz, zzzzz, zzz."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #alice, #giant magnifying glass, #death ray, #too warm, #head too warm

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Alice, "Alice, I understand you've been using a giant magnifying glass as a death ray in the office." Alice responds, "It's not a death ray, I use it only to burn off toupees." Catbert replies, "Oh.. that's okay." A co-worker asks Dilbert, "Is your head too warm? My toupee is too warm."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #email spam blocker, #outgoing messages, #software, #worthless, #sentient being, #only hope, #demoralize to death, #calendar, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches The Boss and says, "Our e-mail spam blocker is stopping all incoming and outgoing messages." Dilbert continues, "Apparently the software decided that everything we do is a bunch of worthless #$!&O." Dilbert continues, "I fear that it's becoming a sentient being. Our only hope is for you to demoralize it to death." The Boss replies, "Tell it to get on my calendar."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #fist of death, #foot of death, #doctor, #exam room, #dont use, #Advice, #health, #carpal syndrome, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of carpal punchel syndrome. Doctor: Don't use your "fist of death" for a few weeks. Alice: GAAA!!! Wally: the "Foot of death" is not the same. Asok: It is only slightly menacing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #dance with death, #secreatry, #desk, #work to early grave, #first to drop, #good morning, #first thing, #competition, #resentment, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "Well, look who came back to dance with death." "Once again you will try to work me to an early grave and I will book you on dangerous business trips." "Who will be the first to drop? Who?" The boss: "What ever happened to 'good morning'?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #deepest budget cuts, #death spiral, #data driven focus

View Transcript

Transcript

"The leadership team can't decide where to make the deepest budget cuts." "But don't worry. I offered to bring a systematic, data-driven focus to the process." "A death spiral goes clockwise north of the equator." "Budget cuts" "Research" "Design" "Sales" "Mancom"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #admire, #performance over appearence, #fist of death, #mean, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: "You know what I admire about you, Alice?" "You obviously value performance over appearance." Alice: "Thank you." "Wait... If that was a compliment, why is my fist of death tingling?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #vacation, #yelling, #bad impression, #nothing right, #work to death, #late for interview

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: You're an hour late for a job interview. woman: You're working me to death! Im only one person! I need a vacation! The Boss: you're supposed to say that stuff after I are you. woman: OOO suddenly I can't do anything right?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #problem, #valuable advice, #stare at screen, #death, #gather data, #blinded by obvious, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Try working around the problem. Dilbert: "Thank you for that valuable advice. I had planned to stare at my screen until I starved to death." The boss: "Gather data before making a decision." Dilbert: "GAAA! I've been blinded by the obvious!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #death, #down throat fist, #eat, #mouth, #punches, #ram fist grab pants, #stock analysts, #stranger, #threatens coworker, #boss unfazed, #violence, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I odnt know who you are, but I odnt like all of the questions you're asking. Im going to ram my fist down your throat , grab your pants and turn you inside out. Alice: eat, death stranger! The Boss: I see you've met our stock analyst,