Work Friends Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for work friends comic strips. Discover the best "Work Friends" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ineffective, #nemesis, #physics of work, #quarreling

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Dilbert: My old nemesis retired, so I asked Randy to take over that function because he's ineffective at everything he does. Coworker: Huh? Dilbert: The physics of work required that each employee be matched with an anti-employee called a nemesis. Coworker: I don't know who my nemesis is. Wally: Uh-oh. You got a hider. They're the worst.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Family, #work from home, #2 days err week, #reduce carbon foorprint, #wife, #small children, #egg carton, #talking to moron, #relationships

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Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dental work, #introducing, #kept the thought, #naming, #new brand, #herthlokel

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CEO: Our new brand will be called "Herthlokel." Tina: Did you come up with that when you were getting dental work? I probably should have kept that thought bottled up inside me.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #8am, #meeting, #useful work, #insulting, #good time management, #overlap, #business

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Coworker: Can you come to my meeting at 8am tomorrow? Dilbert: No. I reserve the first few hours of every morning for useful work. Coworker: That feels like an insult. Dilbert: I call it good time management. There's a lot of overlap.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #office workers, #encouragement, #career plans, #misjudge, #5 year plan, #legacy sytems, #retirement, #projects, #protect heart, #plenty of naps, #quality of work, #pension fund, #new career plan

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Catbert: Wally, you can't float through life with no goals and no ambition. Wally: You misjudge me. I have my entire career planned out. My five-year plan is to avoid any sort of work in which my individual accomplishments can be measured. I'll hoard knowledge about one of our legacy systems so I seem indispensable. When I get to within four years of retirement, I'll only work on projects that have a five-year payback. I'll protect my cardiovascular system by getting plenty of naps and not caring about the quality of my work. Then I'll stick a straw in our pension fund and suck on it for the next forty years. Boss: Did you get him straightened out? Catbert: No, but I got a new career plan for myself.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #friends, #intelligence, #animals

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've decided to make some dog friends, but I don't even know what other dogs do when they get together." Dilbert replies, "Well, I suppose they would bark like idiots, run around in circles, and sniff every part of your body." Dogbert says, "I guess 'Scrabble' is out of the question."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #pun

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The caption says, "Dogbert demonstrates the art of puns. Step #1: 'The Set-up.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Tell me again about your uncle the famous biologist." Dilbert says, "Uncle Albert won many awards for his work in breeding sea anemonies. Sadly, he had little time for a social life." The caption says, "Step #2: 'The Delivery' (from outside of swatting range)." Dogbert stands in the doorway and says, "With anemonies like that, who needs friends?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #car, #friends, #radio

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The caption says, "A friend is somebody who will not think less of you for singing the 'ooh-ooh!' part of a song on the radio." Dilbert and Dogbert ride in the car listening to the radio. Dilbert sings, "Oooh-oooh!!" The caption says, "Of course, friends will also feel free to express their musical opinions." Dilbert lies in a ditch as the car speeds off.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dating, #love, #unattractive, #blob, #friends

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Dilbert stands in front of a woman's desk. The woman says, "Well . . . I would date you . . ." The woman continues, "But frankly I think of you as a boring and unattractive blob of organic matter . . ." The woman concludes, "So let's just be friends."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #free, #hypnosis, #lessons, #friends, #class

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Dilbert walks down the sidewalk and sees a sign on a building that says, "Free Hypnosis Lessons!" Dilbert thinks, "Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "There's probably some catch, but it's worth a look." Dilbert walks away from the building wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and holding his arms out in front of him. Dilbert says, ". . . A wonderful class . . . I must tell my friends."