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The new employee says to Dilbert, "I've learned to appear smarter than I am." The new employee continues, "I agree with whatever people say then I reword it to sound more wise." Dilbert responds, "Please leave my cubicle." The new employee replies, "Because sometimes less is more!"
Dilbert, the troll, and Asok are meeting. Dilbert says, "Our assignment is to make our accounting system less transparent." Asok asks, "What?" Dilbert turns to Asok and says, "We don't want investors to know what we're doing." Asok asks, "Are we bad people?" Dilbert responds, "We're good people who have been influenced by a corrupt corporate culture." Asok says, "Oh, okay. Carry on."
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We need a clear strategy. Does anyone have a suggestion?" Dilbert says, "Let's figure out what makes us the most profit, and then do more of it." The Boss responds, "It needs to be less clear than that." Wally asks, "Can it be illegal?"
The Boss approaches Carol with another man. The Boss says, "Our department won the cost-cutting contest, so our CEO will do your job for a day." The CEO sits in Carol's cubicle and says, "I feel like a failure.. darkness fills my days... I dream of the grave." The CEO cries, "I'll never be loved again!!" The Boss says, "This is less motivating than I'd hoped."
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I fired our plant-watering service and hired a less expensive one." The Boss continues, "That's the sort of leadership that will turn this company around." Wally asks, "Were we doing well?" Dilbert says, "Our plants are plastic."
The Boss is sitting at his desk. The phone rings. The Boss thinks, "Ringy thingy." The Boss picks up the phone. The voice at the other end says, "While you were working, your children grew up and moved away." After the phone call, The Boss sits and thinks, "I've never had a plan that worked so well."
Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Alice: Im working 80 hours a week. I barely have time to bathe. Catbert: try using your tongue during meetings, Its like a bath and a loofah all in one. Alice: Or I could do less work. Catbert: Thats crazy talk.
The Boss sits at the conference table and says, "If you don't finish the project on time, I'll probably lose my job." Asok the Intern asks, "What would happen to us?" Dilbert answers, "We would get a better boss." Wally continues, "We might get a better project too!" Alice goes on, "There would be weeks of confusion with no work at all!" Everyone shouts, "YAY!!" Alice holds her hands close to her chest and says, "It's all ours if we simply do less work!" Alice says, "Whoo! I've never felt my morale go up before. I'm dizzy." The Boss looks at his paper and curses, "#$%^$#!"