Search Results for "wrinkled paper"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dates, #love, #dating, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks as he reaches for the check, "All of us cosmopolitan guys use credit cards to pay for dinner." Dilbert looks at the receipt and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I never know which part of the paperwork to keep. I know something gets ripped up . . ." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . And by the time I noticed the tablecloth was tangled up with the carbon paper, I had ripped both of them to bits." Dogbert asks, "And that's wrong?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #writing, #affirmations, #thoery, #objective, #achieved, #garden, #slug

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a desk writing on a piece of paper. Dilbert asks, "What's all the writing for?" Dogbert replies, "It's called 'affirmations.'" Dogbert explains, "The theory is that if you write down your objective fifteen times a day, the objective will be achieved, no matter how unlikely." Dilbert reads the affirmation and says, "But you've written 'Dilbert will be eaten by a garden slug.'" Dogbert replies, "It's all I could think of."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #affirmations, #garden, #slug, #writing, #salt

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert continues his reckless experiment with the powerful force of 'affirmations.'" Dilbert watches Dogbert write on a piece of paper and asks, ". . . What if this actually works?" Dilbert asks, "Can you really cause me to be eaten by a garden slug just by writing it down over and over?" Dilbert continues, "What am I saying? Logically, there's no way this could work." Dogbert says, "Don't get too far from salt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1989's comic on:


Tags #garbage man, #Dilbert, #garbage, #equations, #engineer, #calculations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert opens his door and the garbage man stands on the doorstep. The garbage man holds up a crumpled piece of paper and says, "Pardon me, sir, but I couldn't help noticing these equations in your garbage." The garbage man continues, "I took the liberty of correcting a few quantum calculations." Dilbert asks, "Gosh, why are you a garbage man?" The garbage man replies, "I think the question is 'why are YOU an engineer?'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #calculations, #collection, #business, #curb, #pick-up, #pizza, #delivery

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the desk with a calculator and paper in front of him. Dogbert tells Dilbert, "By my calculations, we can make millions by combining a mortuary business and a garbage collection business." Dogbert continues, "Our customers could simply leave the dearly departed by the curb for pick-up." Dilbert says, "Maybe we could add pizza delivery, too." Dogbert says, "Let's not push a good idea too far."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #so-called, #unwritten rules, #porcupines, #balloon store

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to write down all of the so-called 'unwritten rules.'" Dogbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "So far I have 'Don't phone after ten p.m.' and . . . Uh . . ." Dilbert asks, "That's it?" Dogbert asks, "How about 'Don't throw porcupines in a balloon store?'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #supervise, #department, #secretary, #gibberish

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to supervise the department secretary. I don't really know how to manage people... Dogbert: Try positive reinforcement. Praise the things he does right. Trust him to make the right choices. Man: I forgot to write down your messages, so I just put a bunch of gibberish on little pieces of paper.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #alive, #holographic, #message, #Dogbert, #chile, #carne

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert yells, "Yikes! Dilbert's invention is alive!!" A flash of light comes from the device. An image of Dilbert's head appears and says, "I am a holographic recording of the late Dilbert, with a message to Dogbert from beyond the grave." Dogbert takes notes on a pad of paper as Dilbert says, ". . . And my recipe for chile con carne is as follows . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #garbage man, #die, #cloning, #machine, #design, #math, #errors, #Dogbert, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

The garbage man asks Dogbert, "Not much garbage . . . Did somebody die?" Dogbert replies, "Dilbert went to the compost pile in the sky." The garbage man reads a piece of paper and says, "Bad timing . . . Judging from last week's garbage, he had almost finished his cloning machine design. I only notice a few linear math errors." The garbage man continues, "This design would just create a hologram and a bad chile con carne recipe." Dogbert says, "Man, you sure know your garbage!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #shredder, #door, #self deprication, #hatred, #insecurities

View Transcript

Transcript

Carrying a stack of paper, Dilbert approaches a door marked "Shredder." The sound, "Bzzzzzzpp . . ." comes from inside the shredder room. Dilbert exits the shredder room. His hair, tie and shirt have been shredded. Dilbert thinks, "I hate being me."