Zeberpupin System Comic Strips - Page 7
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249 Results for Zeberpupin System
View 61 - 70 results for zeberpupin system comic strips. Discover the best "Zeberpupin System" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 21,
2003
Tags #user requirements, #build system, #some actual work, #crazy talk
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with a client. Dilbert says, "I'll design the system as soon as you give me the user requirements." The client responds, "Better yet, you could build the system, then I'll tell your boss that it doesn't meet my needs." Dilbert says, "I don't mean to frighten you, but you'll have to do some actual work." The client responds, "That's crazy talk."
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Tuesday July 22,
2003
Tags #mandatory online training, #system crashed, #retake training
Transcript
"You're the only one who hasn't finished the mandatory online six sigma training." "I finished it, but the system crashed before it stored my data." "This is when you say, 'There's no need to retake the training. I'll just check off your name.'" "Are you new on this planet?"
Monday September 08,
2003
Tags #send broadband, #send data, #sewer system
Transcript
The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.
Tuesday September 09,
2003
Tags #internet traffic, #good thing, #under sewage, #breathe through straw, #grateful, #sewer system
Transcript
Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"
Thursday October 02,
2003
Tags #new hire, #guy, #bothering workers, #love golf, #rain tomorrow, #plans, #sad paper body, #roll in salt, #scoring system
Transcript
Man: "I love golf. Golfing is fun. It's a good day to golf. Do you want to go golfing in the rain tomorrow at 6 A.M.?" Wally: "No, thanks. I have plans to sandpaper my entire body and roll around in salt." Man: "I hope no one ever creates a scoring system for that."
Saturday March 06,
2004
Tags #cpr on blob, #fire in break room, #sprinkler system, #water melketed, #witch melted
Transcript
The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."
Thursday March 18,
2004
Tags #trolls, #hell, #payroll system, #automated sadistic, #phone system, #tech support, #complicated
Transcript
Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7
Friday April 09,
2004
Tags #accounting system, #profitable, #manage randomlt, #claim success, #funding, #hug
Transcript
"Our accounting system is so inaccurate that we don't know how profitable anything is." "It's so bad that you could manage randomly and claim success no matter what happens." "I was looking for funding, not a hug."
Tuesday June 15,
2004
Tags #invoice, #preferred vendor system, #quality product, #scowl, #small biuinessman
Transcript
I may be a small businessman but I can provide a quality product to your company. The Boss: I'll ask alice to show you how to get into our referred vendor system. Alice: He can already invoice! Wally: he has your scowl.
Monday July 19,
2004
Tags #hairball, #stock options, #evil director, #human resources, #bous system, #kindness of management, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: stock options will be replaced with a bonus system. Dilbert: So....now my happiness depends on the kindness of management instead of the gullibility of our investors? Catbert: allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in your direction.