Office Politics Comic Strips - Page 70

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Carol Raises Money For School

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Carol Raises Money For School  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, guilt, office, office workers, sales, sarcasm, school

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.

Selling Chocolate For School

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Selling Chocolate For School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sales, school, capitalism

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.

Write Your Own Review

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Write Your Own Review - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, performance, sarcasm

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Boss: I need you to write your own performance review for my signature. Dilbert: I'll sign it for you too. I see no reason for you to be involved. Boss: Put something in there about insubordination. Dilbert: Got it.

Alice Writes Own Review

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Alice Writes Own Review - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, performance, sarcasm, review

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Boss: I'm asking everyone to write their own performance reviews. Alice: "She shone like the light of a thousand suns." Boss: Slop some jargon on that and put a bow on it. Alice: Got it.

Cake Is Healthy

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Cake Is Healthy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cake, diet, employees, employment, health, health food, office, office workers

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Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month. Dilbert: Because cake is healthy? Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.

Fly On Weekend

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Fly On Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office workers, evil, cheap

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Boss: I need you to do a customer site visit. Book your flight for the weekend so you don't miss any work. Dilbert: I'm impressed by your casual evil. Boss: Bring your own food.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, business, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: Did you finish the product redesign? Dilbert: You never told me to redesign the product. Boss: I don't want any excuses! Dilbert: You never told me to redesign anything. Boss: Whoa! Leave your pretzel logic at home. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your failures. Dilbert: Okay...I take full responsiblity for you not telling me what you wanted me to do. Boss: You're not doing it right. Dilbert: Should I slap myself while saying it?

The Candy Honor System

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The Candy Honor System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags candy, irritation, office workers, steal, stealing food, office, trust

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Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.

Bringing The Outdoors In

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Bringing The Outdoors In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags desk, excited, nature, office, office workers

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Dilbert: Something exciting happened at work today. We reconfigured the cubicles, and now I have a partial view of a potted plant. Dogbert: You're happy about seeing half of a potted plant? Dilbert: I call it bringing the outdoors in.

Soaring With The Eagles

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Soaring With The Eagles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, inspiration

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Boss: The inspirational poster I put in the break room isn't working. I asked around and no one is soaring with the eagles. Catbert: Is the poster defective? Boss: That's the only explanation that makes sense.