Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 70
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 691 - 700 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 01,
2003
Tags too much work, give too much work, blame others, angry, its all you!
Transcript
"Alice, your problem is that you take on too much work." "The problem is that you GIVE me too much work!" "Your second problem is that you blame others, and your third problem is that you're always angry." "GAAA!! IT'S ALL YOU!!"
Sunday November 02,
2003
Tags focusing on bandwidth, organic growth, table an issue, sudebar, managing expectations, ducks in a row, no project
Transcript
The Boss: "Wally, what's the status of your project?" Wally: "Deep breath.. clear my mind..." "I've been focusing my bandwidth on organic growth." "I'm getting lots of push-back, so I'm taking the discussions offline." "But sometimes I table an issue or handle it in a side bar." "Now I have my ducks in a row. The deal-breakers are on the back burner, and I'm managing expectations." The Boss: "Okay... keep up the good work." Dilbert: "Wally, you don't have a project." "What? Then why am I so tired?"
Monday November 03,
2003
Tags conference calls from mens room, idiotssyncrasies, conference calls, finished newspaper
Transcript
"Wally, there have been complaints that you take conference calls from the men's room." "Ok, perhaps I have a few idiosyncrasies, but it's only because I care so much about the work." "No one invited you to those conference calls." "What if I've already finished the newspaper?"
Wednesday November 05,
2003
Tags too busy, bottleneck, document, desk, office
Transcript
"I can't do any more work on my project until you give your input, but you're too busy." "There's no polite way to say this: Bill, you're a bottleneck." "Your document is now saying hi to the bottom of the pile."
Friday November 14,
2003
Tags make changes, skills database, know as guy, avoid work, too much work
Transcript
Tina: "Wally, can you show me how to make changes to the skills database?" Wally: "I can't risk being known as the guy who knows how to edit the database." Tina: "Because?" Wally: "I barely have time to avoid the work I already have."
Sunday November 16,
2003
Tags Wally, downsized candidate, alice glad, boss thanks wally, ride to church, on good side
Transcript
alice: "Wally, I'm glad we work in the same department." "Because your performance is so bad that you'll be downsized first." "You're like a buffer. As long as you're still here, my job is safe." "And there's nothing you can do to change the situation." The Boss: "Wally, do you mind giving my family a ride to church again this week?" Wally: "No problem." The Boss: "It's nice that you joined my church even though you live an hour away." "And I wouldn't say no to those tasty bagels you always bring for the ride." Alice: "GAAA!!!" The Boss: "Oh... I didn't see you sneak up on me, Heathen.. I mean Alice."
Tuesday November 25,
2003
Tags replace myself, cheap elbonian labor, describe appearence, coffe mug
Transcript
Wally: I'm planning to replace myself with cheap Elbonian labor. Watch this: Turn around and try to describe my appearance. Dilbert: I see glasses...a coffee mug...and thats all, Wally: This will work.
Sunday November 30,
2003
Tags manager of executive compensation, plan to steal, meeting, back slapping, pormises, raises, ponys, vacations, huge raise, business
Transcript
Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"
Monday December 01,
2003
Tags evil director, merger, extra work, must be reason, tax thing
Transcript
Catbert, evil director human resources. The Boss: "We need to tell our employees about the merger." CatBert: "They'll read it in the news. Why should we do extra work?" The Boss: "Other companies do it. There must be a reason." Catbert: "Maybe it's a tax thing."
Saturday December 06,
2003
Tags dating, party, phone number, information, email, voicemail, home phone, offcie, work email, personal website, too much info, skeleton, relationships
Transcript
"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."


