Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 70

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business Ethics

View 691 - 700 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, technology service, hospice, bazooka, hold gun, intimidate, compassion, surprise, scared, computer, windows xp, technology, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Technology Hospice Service to ease the suffering of our dying technology." The Boss says, "Dogbert will use compassion and? what was the other thing?" Dogbert says, "Bazooka." Dogbert says, "Step away from the Windows XP!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director of human resources, payroll expenses low, bad reviews, employees, defects, list, faults, alphabetical, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, email, laptop, boring, time suck hole, yell, thorough, play music, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I hope you don't mind if I do email during the boring parts of your meeting." Dilbert says, "I don't want to be dragged into your time suck hole." Coworker says, "You are kind of a time suck hole." Man 2 says, "I'm thorough!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reprimand, sign-off, marketing, paper, vivid memory, unicorns, false, conversation, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I told you to get a sign-off from marketing before you sent this around." Dilbert says, "How vivid is your false memory of that conversation?" The Boss says, "It's plenty vivid." Dilbert says, "Were unicorns involved?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags merger talks, business as usually, happy, yell, take off shirt, take off tie, wide eyes, surprise, outburst, shirtless, bare chest, plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We're in merger talks, but it's business as usual until it goes through." Wally says, "I'm free! My efforts won't influence my rewards!" The Boss says, "I said business as usual." Wally says, "I was totally planning to do this today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, honest feedback, strategy, lie, misperception, hate people, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, I called this meeting because you're the only person I trust to give me honest feedback on my strategy." Alice says, "It's great. It's amazing. It's the best strategy in the universe." The Boss says, "I thought you were honest." Alice says, "That's a common misperception. I just hate people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business case, hold folder, funding, deny, landfill wet hunting, frustrating, yell, shake, upset

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I finished the business case." Dilbert says, "You said you would try to get funding if the numbers look good." The Boss says, "I never said that." Dilbert says, "I clearly remember it. I can describe our conversation word for word." The Boss says, "I probably said something that sounded like 'I will get funding' and you heard it wrong." Dilbert says, "What exactly sounds like 'I will get funding'?" The Boss says, "Landfill wet hunting." Dilbert says, "That's not even a good try!!!" The Boss says, "Shake it off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tired, exhausted, research, lie, avoid work, lab report, meeting, write down, science, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm exhausted from all of the basic research I'm doing." Wally says, "It's too bad that the value of my work won't be quantifiable for another ten years." The Boss says, "I'd like to see your lab report." Wally says, "So? the new rule is that we write down stuff?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, certification, lazy, lie, plan b, yell, passionate defense, argument, scare, wide eyes, point, shake finger, apology, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I accomplished nothing this week because I was going through certification." Wally thinks, "Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask." The Boss says, "Certification for? what?" Wally thinks, "Plan B: Mount a passionate defense against an argument that no one made." Wally says, "How can you say that certification is a waste of time?!" Wally says, "Without certification, management would be reduced to randomness!" Wally says, "Do you think you'd be happier just guessing who is qualified to do what? Do you? Do you?" The Boss says, "There's something wrong with you." Wally says, "Apology accepted. Next."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, presentation, slide show, names, trademarked, hand motion, crotch area, wide eyes, shocked, gross, point, war criminals, nicknames, partnerless loving, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "This next slide shows all of the possible names for our product that are not already trademarked." The Boss says, "Are there any that don't remind people of this general area of the human body?" Dilbert says, "That narrows it down to the names of accused war criminals, and the funnier nicknames for partnerless loving."