First Date Comic Strips - Page 70

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

696 Results for First Date

View 691 - 696 results for first date comic strips. Discover the best "First Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ron Moore

Thank you for voting.
Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #employees, #insults, #jokes, #mistake, #sales, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

Business Agility Influencer

Thank you for voting.
Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2019's comic on:

Tags #office workers, #business, #agility, #solution, #meaningless, #useless

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

Stay Home When Sick

Thank you for voting.
Stay Home When Sick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2019's comic on:

Tags #office workers, #healthy, #sick, #sneeze, #infect, #deadlines

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: maybe you should stay home when you are sick. alice sneezing: honk! i will, but first i need to infect the rest of you so i'm not the only one missing deadlines. can you hold this for me? (passes off tissue to dilbert)

Dilbert Murders Robots

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Murders Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2019's comic on:

Tags #office workers, #business, #robot, #technology, #human resources, #bad behavior, #reboot, #murder, #plot, #erase

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.

How Long It Will Take

Thank you for voting.
How Long It Will Take - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #assignment, #deadline, #incompetence, #meeting, #co-workers, #months

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

Dilbert Characters

Buzzflawed Interview

Thank you for voting.
Buzzflawed Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2020's comic on:

Tags #managment, #business, #reporter, #cheat, #suppliers, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."