New Product Comic Strips - Page 70
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1000 Results for New Product
View 691 - 700 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 15,
2004
Tags workplace injuries, 10 thousand percent, new safety manuals, website, blood pressure rising, technology
Transcript
Wally: "Workplace injuries are up ten thousand percent since I distributed the new safety manuals." "The binders have sharp edges and, apparently, a curse. I asked Asok to help put it on our website." Asok: "Hands... So numb. Eyes... Strained. Blood pressure rising..."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday May 16,
2004
Tags celebrity business plan, commit crime, hire lawyer, reality tv show, gain weight, tabloids, spokesperson, weight loss product, write children book, rehab, addicted to painkillers, plan, future plans, goals, sensationalism
Transcript
Dogbert: "Would you review my celebrity business plan?" Dilbert: "Sure." Dogbert: "First, I'll commit a sensational crime that the media can't ignore." "Then I'll hire celebrity lawyer, Johnny 'Red' Galipigos to help me beat the rap." "I'll use my fame to land a part on a reality tv show where I will win by cheating." "Then I'll gain a massive amount of the weight so the tabloids will fixate on me." "Burp" "Then I'll become a spokesperson for a weight loss product." "It works!" "Lastly, I'll write children's books." Dilbert: "What about rehab?" "Good catch. I totally forgot the part where I get addicted to pain killers." Dilbert: "Otherwise it looks good."
Monday May 24,
2004
Tags science of fengshui, technical merits, witch doctor, astrologer, cutomer
Transcript
Visiting a customer "Our office was designed with the science of Feng Shui." "Should I describe the technical merits of our product or will you be consulting with a witch doctor?" "Oops. Sorry. That one snuck up on me." "He's an astrologer, not at witch doctor."
Wednesday May 26,
2004
Tags kodos, morale, mascot, meetings, moral improves, bear suit, meeting, low morale, idea for imprvement, business
Transcript
The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."
Friday May 28,
2004
Tags budget cut, 25% budget cut, ulcers, heart disease, product, envy, mysterious pustles
Transcript
"If I cut you product development budget by 25%, what could you develop?" "Ulcers, heart disease and maybe mysterious pustules." "How about the product itself?" "It will envy me."
Saturday May 29,
2004
Tags cut corners, bungling, budget process, skip design, testing and manufacturing, product recall, shipping, juggle
Transcript
"Project meeting" "I'll have to cut a few corners because of your bungling of the budget process." "If we skip design, prototype, testing and manufacturing, we can afford the product recall." "We'll save on shipping, too." "Is bungle the same as juggle?"
Wednesday June 02,
2004
Tags ergophobia, fear of work, abnoraml, discover new words, about self
Transcript
"I got a bad case of ergophobia. It's an abnormal and persistent fear of work." "Isn't everything about you a little abnormal and persistent?" "Yeah, but Im still delighted when I discover new words for me."
Monday June 07,
2004
Tags prima donna, indeispensable, being obnoxious, undermining authority, pants optional zone
Transcript
"I hired a new Prima Donna. I already hate his guts, but he's indispensable." "He'll be dividing his time between being obnoxious and undermining my authority." "And the rules don't apply to him." "I declare this a pants-optional zone."
Tuesday June 15,
2004
Tags invoice, preferred vendor system, quality product, scowl, small biuinessman
Transcript
I may be a small businessman but I can provide a quality product to your company. The Boss: I'll ask alice to show you how to get into our referred vendor system. Alice: He can already invoice! Wally: he has your scowl.
Sunday June 27,
2004
Tags engineers, office, name, zinger, introductions, invisible, resentful
Transcript
Why its great to be an engineer Hi Dilbert. Dilbert: Hi...there. He doesn't remember my name. Say it! Say my name! Hey dilbert. Now he'll be forced to introduce me, her- her. Alice: Am I interupting anything? dilbert: no Its awkward for you now. HA HA! squirm, you name forgetter. The pressure too introduce me must be killing you . HAHA! Dilbert: Do you have the new software specs? Alice: follow me. Alice: who was that guy? Dilbert: What guy?

