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View 691 - 700 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags workplace injuries, 10 thousand percent, new safety manuals, website, blood pressure rising, technology

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Wally: "Workplace injuries are up ten thousand percent since I distributed the new safety manuals." "The binders have sharp edges and, apparently, a curse. I asked Asok to help put it on our website." Asok: "Hands... So numb. Eyes... Strained. Blood pressure rising..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags celebrity business plan, commit crime, hire lawyer, reality tv show, gain weight, tabloids, spokesperson, weight loss product, write children book, rehab, addicted to painkillers, plan, future plans, goals, sensationalism

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Dogbert: "Would you review my celebrity business plan?" Dilbert: "Sure." Dogbert: "First, I'll commit a sensational crime that the media can't ignore." "Then I'll hire celebrity lawyer, Johnny 'Red' Galipigos to help me beat the rap." "I'll use my fame to land a part on a reality tv show where I will win by cheating." "Then I'll gain a massive amount of the weight so the tabloids will fixate on me." "Burp" "Then I'll become a spokesperson for a weight loss product." "It works!" "Lastly, I'll write children's books." Dilbert: "What about rehab?" "Good catch. I totally forgot the part where I get addicted to pain killers." Dilbert: "Otherwise it looks good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags science of fengshui, technical merits, witch doctor, astrologer, cutomer

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Visiting a customer "Our office was designed with the science of Feng Shui." "Should I describe the technical merits of our product or will you be consulting with a witch doctor?" "Oops. Sorry. That one snuck up on me." "He's an astrologer, not at witch doctor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags kodos, morale, mascot, meetings, moral improves, bear suit, meeting, low morale, idea for imprvement, business

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The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget cut, 25% budget cut, ulcers, heart disease, product, envy, mysterious pustles

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"If I cut you product development budget by 25%, what could you develop?" "Ulcers, heart disease and maybe mysterious pustules." "How about the product itself?" "It will envy me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cut corners, bungling, budget process, skip design, testing and manufacturing, product recall, shipping, juggle

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"Project meeting" "I'll have to cut a few corners because of your bungling of the budget process." "If we skip design, prototype, testing and manufacturing, we can afford the product recall." "We'll save on shipping, too." "Is bungle the same as juggle?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ergophobia, fear of work, abnoraml, discover new words, about self

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"I got a bad case of ergophobia. It's an abnormal and persistent fear of work." "Isn't everything about you a little abnormal and persistent?" "Yeah, but Im still delighted when I discover new words for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags prima donna, indeispensable, being obnoxious, undermining authority, pants optional zone

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"I hired a new Prima Donna. I already hate his guts, but he's indispensable." "He'll be dividing his time between being obnoxious and undermining my authority." "And the rules don't apply to him." "I declare this a pants-optional zone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invoice, preferred vendor system, quality product, scowl, small biuinessman

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I may be a small businessman but I can provide a quality product to your company. The Boss: I'll ask alice to show you how to get into our referred vendor system. Alice: He can already invoice! Wally: he has your scowl.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, office, name, zinger, introductions, invisible, resentful

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Why its great to be an engineer Hi Dilbert. Dilbert: Hi...there. He doesn't remember my name. Say it! Say my name! Hey dilbert. Now he'll be forced to introduce me, her- her. Alice: Am I interupting anything? dilbert: no Its awkward for you now. HA HA! squirm, you name forgetter. The pressure too introduce me must be killing you . HAHA! Dilbert: Do you have the new software specs? Alice: follow me. Alice: who was that guy? Dilbert: What guy?