New Product Comic Strips - Page 70
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1000 Results for New Product
View 691 - 700 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 23,
2005
Tags standardize dept.new programming, language, mass from hole, objective, vendor warning
Transcript
The Boss: "I've decided to standardize the department on a new programming language." Dilbert: "With all due respect, that sort of decision should be made by someone who knows his mass from a black hole." Dilbert: "The vendor warned me that you couldn't be objective."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday August 12,
2005
Tags phishing, new hobby, fake banking emails, gullible executives, financial information, steal, password social security card
Transcript
"I have a new hobby. It's called phishing." "I send fake banking e-mails to gullible executives. Then I find out their financial information and use it to steal the money they don't deserve." Dear Customer, This is your bank. We forgot your social security number and password. Why don't you send them to us so we can protect your money. Sincerely, I. B. Banker "Looks legit."
Friday August 05,
2005
Tags accomplishments, iso 9000, sei policies, new policy, comply, head spin, imagination, pretending to work
Transcript
Wally: "My accomplishments this month include complying with our ISO 9000, Sarbanes-Oxley and SEI-5 policies." "And if you make a new policy, I will comply with it so fast it will make your head spin!" "Is it my imagination or is pretending to work getting easier?"
Monday August 01,
2005
Tags da vinci code, excluding parts, information etchnology, mordac, preventor
Transcript
"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology, and I have assigned you a new password." "What is it?" "Click click" "It's the full text of 'The Da Vinci Code,' excluding the parts I don't believe." "I'm not touching you." "Stupid scenery descriptions!"
Sunday July 10,
2005
Tags wally reflctor, bad people, make you work, offer no resistance, order made, requires work. they blow it off, no work necessary
Transcript
Asok: the move that I ma about to teach you is called the "wally reflects" Wally: Throughout the day bad people will try to make you do work of for them. At first, offer no resistance, as if you actually plan to do the work. Then ask the offender to do a little bit of work himself. Allow me to demonstrate. Wally, I need to design a data base for all of our product features and services. Wally: Glad to do it! Wally: all i need from you is a comprehensive list of the dats fields you need included. Oh...wow Im really busy, I;ll had et get back to you on that. and I'll never see that idiot again. You inspire me. In a creepy kind of way.
Friday June 17,
2005
Tags batch of tiger meat, project, chanllenging, delight stockholders, not challenging, less motivated
Transcript
"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."
Saturday June 04,
2005
Tags holding up wall, new structural engineer, wall fell
Transcript
The boss: what are you doing holding up the wall? Zing that was a good one. Dilbert: Have you met the new structural engineer?
Friday June 03,
2005
Tags freeze n expenses, freeware version, readily available, coffee sipping, noises
Transcript
I couldn't buy the software I need to do my job because of your freeze on expenses. "And our I.S. policy says I can't use the freeware version that is readily available." "So I used the week to develop some new coffee-sipping noises."
Wednesday June 01,
2005
Tags british acent, swoon, fake ccent, single, girls fight, married
Transcript
"I think I'm in love with the new guy because of his fake British accent." "He's mine!" "You're married." "I am? Wow! His British accent made me forget." "I say, old beans, did anyone see my brolly on the lift?" "Swoon" "I'm single."
Tuesday May 17,
2005
Tags dilbert.com, owls for fuel, new suv, good idea, start breeding owls
Transcript
The Boss: My new SUV uses owls for fuel. It seemed like a good idea but now I can't find enough owls. Carol: "You'll have to start your own owls." The boss: "That's what I figured." The Hilarious conclusion to this comic has been deemed offensive, If you must know how it ends, go to dilbert.com


