Rich People Comic Strips - Page 70
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1000 Results for Rich People
View 691 - 700 results for rich people comic strips. Discover the best "Rich People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 26,
2004
Tags blindfold, carbs, cublicle, heinous crime, put new guy, won't know blind fold, finance troll
Transcript
HECK were out of space boss. we've had a big upswing in people who use cell phone is bathrooms. Dang, Ive got a new guy coming in today, where will I put him? Maybe you could ask your brother,,, HMM... The boss: well, I suppose you could put hum in a cubicle. his crime wasn't that heinous, well, if you blind fold him, he won't know he's in a cubicle. so then I find pout its not okay to eat carbs.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday September 18,
2004
Tags people bothering, trying to work, get away, morons, unpleasant realization
Transcript
Wally: Have you ever noticed that people continuously bother you when you're trying to work? Thats why I come here - to get away from those morons. wally: Im having an unpleasant realization. Dilbert: They're all like that.
Tuesday August 31,
2004
Tags don't eat money, false hope business, lose weight, get rich, semi plausible
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm going into the false hope business. All I need is a semi plausible message about how to lose weight while getting rich." "Don't eat your money."
Saturday August 21,
2004
Tags no annual raises, ouift, cafeteria napkins, colonize mars, distractions, guide conversation away
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources The Boss: How do I tell people that there won't be any annual raises?" CAtbert: If someone tries to raise the topic, guide the conversation away." "...And thats why my outfit is made of cafeteria napkins." "Do you think we'll ever colonize Mars?"
Friday August 20,
2004
Tags great design, big seller, attractive, honor flaw, functionality, sex crimes, accuses user, cute
Transcript
"Product designer" "The new product is selling like crazy, thanks to it's great design." "Sales" "It's so attractive that people over look its minor flaws in functionality." "For example, it accuses the user of sex crimes whenever company comes over." "And it's cute!"
Sunday August 08,
2004
Tags credit reporting company, data, death, debilitating, health problems, low cost provider, ruined lives, medical
Transcript
Dogbert: Im starting a credit reporting company. I'll be the low cost provider because all of my data will be wrong, Dilbert: what will you do when people call and complain that you ruined their lives? Dogbert: I'll put them on hold until their frustration turn into debilitating health problems. Their last words will be AAAGH!!!! I only wanted to buy a minivan! Death will accomplish what customer service could not. Dilbert: Im just curious: Do you have nay qualms about your business plan? any at all? Dogbert: Im not sure. do qualms make you wag?
Sunday July 25,
2004
Tags vp marketing, saturate airwaves, as campiagn, talking squirrel, fake accent, complete fraud, pack up desk, ruin everything
Transcript
The boss: Our Vp of marketing here to describe our new bet the company strategy. we'll saturate the airwaves with an ad campaign featuring a talking squirrel. He'll have a face norwegian accent like, "Geeve me zee nuts" ha ha! Any questions? Yes, you with the strange ghead, Dilbert: How will a talking squirrel make people but our products? I just realized Ima complete fraud, I'll pack up my desk and leave immediately. The Boss: can we get through one meeting without you ruining everything?
Monday July 05,
2004
Tags need to talk, phone rings, time stops, frozen look
Transcript
"Shut the door. We need to talk about what you've done." "What?!" RING "Gaaa!!! Please don't leave me hanging! What have I done??!" "Hello." "My watch stopped. No, wait, I think time itself stopped!!!" "Note: Time-frozen people look exactly like this."
Saturday July 03,
2004
Tags sublet space, business case, risks and drivers, changed mind
Transcript
Dilbert: "We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." The Boss: "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." Dilbert: "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." The boss: "I need a business case for that, too."
Friday June 18,
2004
Tags profits improving, have raise, giving raises, profits will plummet, oppression, communism
Transcript
"Now that our profits are improving, can I have a raise?" "If I start giving people raises, then profits will plummet and we'll be nowhere." "Does your bonus depend on how effectively you oppress me?" "If you don't like it, try communism."

