Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 70
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 691 - 700 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 01,
2011
Tags boats, business ethics, new boat, engineers, skills, boss's boat, picture, nautical interests
Transcript
Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday January 11,
2011
Tags engineers, honesty, viruses, honest opinions, causing problems, medical records, engineer, classified as disease, vaccination, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I can't stop voicing my honest opinions. It's causing problems at work." Doctor says, "According to your medical records, you're an engineer. We classify that as a disease now." Man says, "Gaaa!!! You haven't had your pon farr vaccination." Dilbert says, "Is it warm in here?"
Saturday January 29,
2011
Tags terrorists, work ethic, elbonian leftists, kidnapped, ransom demands, three pack tube socks, carton milk, six yams, making life nightmare, gives in to kidnappers
Transcript
Carol says, "Elbonian leftists kidnapped Asok. They have ransom demands." Carol says, "They want a three-pack of tube socks, a carton of milk, and six yams." The Boss says, "Maybe you could buy that stuff on your way home." Carol says, "You're making my life a nightmare! Just keep him!"
Tuesday February 08,
2011
Tags work ethic, charged project, accountants, arsenic based life forms, natural enemy
Transcript
Accounting Dilbert says, "You charged my project for expenses that aren't mine." Finance Troll says, "Let me see that." Finance Troll says, "We accountants are arsenic-based life forms. That makes you my natural enemy." Dilbert says, "That is not logical." Finance Troll says, "Live long and phospher."
Thursday February 17,
2011
Tags office buildings, work ethic, new cubicles, death eater gray, soul sponge, absorb happiness, fear of the unknown
Transcript
Office relocation Tina says, "Your new cubicles will be a color called 'death eater gray.'" Tina says, "The fabric is a soul sponge that will absorb your happiness if you stand hear it." The Boss says, "How'd the meeting go?" Tina says, "Well, you know, fear of the unknown." Office Relocation
Monday February 21,
2011
Tags engineers, laziness, project budget, new technology, slow learner, expensive
Transcript
Woman says, "You used the entire engineering portion of my project budget just learning the new technology." Wally says, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you." Wally says, "Some say I'm a slow learner, but I like to think of myself as expensive."
Monday March 14,
2011
Tags apathy, executives, work ethic, enginner, no budget, emailed, ceo, social network, global supply chain
Transcript
Dilbert: So... you emailed our CEO and asked for funds to build a social network for our global supply chain. Dilbert: No one wants that, But it sounds good, so he moved all of our project funding to your dumb idea. and...you will produce nothing, Wally: said the engineer with no budget.
Saturday June 18,
2011
Tags anxiety, work ethic, worry, indispensible, fired, useless, riskier, toe clip, 20 years of service
Transcript
Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?
Thursday June 23,
2011
Tags crimes, internet & world wide web, black hat, websites ranking, search engine, unethical, near certainty, loserish, talking
Transcript
Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.
Sunday June 19,
2011
Tags embarrassment, walkways, minute, meeting, walk and talk, barely concentrate, prove underling wrong, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

