Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 70
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 691 - 700 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 29,
1993
Tags Dogbert, conquer, ratbert, world, pittsburgh, cards, beverage, famous
Transcript
Dogbert and Ratbert look at a globe. Dogbert says, "After I conquer the world I'll have a city named after you, Ratbert." Dogbert continues, "But before I do that I'll change your name to Pittsburgh." Dogbert continues, "If you play your cards right I'll change your last name to 'Yoo Hoo' and have a beverage named after you too!" Ratbert yells, "Yes! I'm gonna be famous!"
Thursday December 30,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, conquer, building, Religion, life, calculate, spreadsheet, law, students, zero, bar
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair. Dogbert tells Dilbert, "I can't decide if it would be better to conquer the world by building an army or starting a religion." Dilbert asks, "Which one would have the least loss of life?" Dogbert replies, "That's what I'm trying to calculate on this spreadsheet." Dilbert asks, "Why are you counting law students as two-tenths of a person?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't drop to zero until they pass the bar."
Friday December 31,
1993
Tags Dogbert, sign, petition, world, hunger, cost, elimination, government, monarchy, biolerplate, lawysers
Transcript
Dogbert sits behind a counter with a sign that says "End Hunger." Dogbert asks a passerby, "Would you like to sign this petition to end world hunger at no cost to you?" The man says, "World hunger? Why does it say 'I demand elimination of the government and the establishment of a Dogbert monarchy?'" Dogbert replies, "It's standard boilerplate. The lawyers insisted." The man says as he signs the petition, "Man, those guys are in a world of their own."
Thursday February 03,
1994
Tags evil demons, stupidity, saint dogbert, image, protect and wathc, career change, out demons of stupid
Transcript
Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"
Friday February 11,
1994
Tags Dogbert, hit man for mob, get away with murder, cute, self complimentary, conversation
Transcript
Dogbert: "Have you ever noticed how incredibly cute I am?" "Look at this little black nose, soft furry ears, adorable little tail...with these looks I could get away with murder." "I'm thinking of becoming a hit man for the mob." Dilbert: "I'm glad we have these little talks."
Saturday February 12,
1994
Tags baby dogbert, ceramic figurine, first aid, vomiting, focus group, disater, inmate cuteness, profit
Transcript
Dogbert: I found a way to profit from my innate cuteness. Introducing the limited edition "Baby Dogbert" ceramic figurine! Dilbert: I see - its a first aid device to induce vomiting. Dogbert: The focus group was a disaster.
Tuesday February 15,
1994
Tags trying to please, fool, better please, crush you, selfish dogbert, justa thought, others, threatened
Transcript
Dilbert: "I can't live my life trying to please others." Dogbert: "I think I can speak for all others when I say, 'Fool! You'd better please us or we'll crush you!'" Dilbert: "It was just a thought." Dogbert: "We 'others' don't like to be threatened."
Thursday March 24,
1994
Tags Dogbert, world will end, year 2000, compelling logic, news
Transcript
Dogbert: I've become a doomsday prophet so I can scare gullible people. Im telling everyone the world will end in year 2000. My compelling logic is that 2000 is a big round number. Dogbert: Its BIIIG and ROOUND Dilbert: Stop it!!!
Monday April 18,
1994
Tags press release, dsn, bid 50 million, hollywood studio, providing static, channels, Dogbert, static netowrk
Transcript
"Here's the press release about our bid to buy 'DSN' for fifty billion dollars." "DSN is the hollywood studio that provides static to all the channels that woudl otherwise be blank." "The 'Dogbert Static Network'?!!" "Talk to me, babe."
Thursday April 21,
1994
Tags big money, deal, dog, Dogbert, executive, mercury dimes, negotiate, static network, stock, static for sale, animals
Transcript
CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.

