List Of Employees Comic Strips - Page 71

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

712 Results for List Of Employees

View 701 - 710 results for list of employees comic strips. Discover the best "List Of Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Took Notes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Took Notes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #co-workers, #forward, #hungry, #insults, #intelligence, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #notes, #pandemic, #release, #schedule, #snack, #technology, #version, #covid

View Transcript

Transcript

staff in conference room and all wearing face masks. dilbert: we agreed at our last meeting to postpone the version release. tina: no, we agreed to do it sooner. dilbert: i don't think so. who took notes at the last meeting? wally: i did. click wally: forwarding those notes to each of you. dilbert: um...your notes are mostly insults about the intelligence of your co-workers and...some sort of snack list. this is no help at all. wally: don't blame me. i'm not the one who schedules these meetings when i'm hungry.

No Talk About Morale

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 No Talk About Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #morale, #talk, #engagement, #workplace, #culture, #happy, #question, #covid, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.

Reasonable Doubt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reasonable Doubt    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #employees, #health, #leader, #coronavirus, #indoor, #face mask, #kill, #doubt, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: that stupid coronavirus is no match for a healthy, young leader such as yourself. freedom demands that you go to crowded indoor places without wearing your mask. boss: are you trying to kill me? carol: i'd say there's reasonable doubt.

Critics Not Intelligent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Critics Not Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #office workers, #employees, #smart, #critics, #agreement, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!

Robots Will Sneak Up On Us

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robots Will Sneak Up On Us - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argue, #business, #employees, #enginners, #managers & supervisors, #replace, #robots, #technology, #train

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we aren't yet ready to replace engineers with robots, but that day will sneak up on us. so i'd like all of you to train a robot to do your jobs, just so we are ready. dilbert: you want us to train our own replacements? boss thinking: this is another thing a robot would not argue about.

No Performance Reviews

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Performance Reviews  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #Political, #social, #opinions, #ranking, #acceptable

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in staff meeting: the company will no longer do performance reviews. from now on, you will be ranked on the acceptability of your political and social opinions. dilbert: do you have a list of acceptable opinions? boss: there will be no hints.

Elbonian Words

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #elbonian, #headquarters, #language, #factory, #Word

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.

Lazy People Are Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lazy People Are Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #efficient, #projects, #lazy, #assignments, #useful

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.

Still Get Paid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Still Get Paid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #colleagues, #unreliable, #false, #true, #paid, #process, #believe, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i've been keeping a running list, and it seems that 100% of the things you told me this year have been false. wally: and we both got paid, so what's your point? tina: i...don't know how to process that. wally: i'd tell you, but apparently you wouldn't believe me.

Customers Are Dead People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Customers Are Dead People  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #customer, #lists, #dead, #alive, #lie, #activist, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: activists are accusing us of padding our customer list with the names of dead people. boss: that's a lie. those customers were alive when they bought our products. dilbert: did they die while using them? boss: let's hope the activists don't ask that question.