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View 701 - 708 results for never saw luggage comic strips. Discover the best "Never Saw Luggage" comics from Dilbert.com.

Training Kicked In

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Training Kicked In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bathroom, #boring, #business, #face mask, #meeting, #sarcasm, #technology, #training, #coffee

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wally: that slide deck in yesterday's meeting was lethally boring. luckily, all of my training kicked in. dilbert: and that training taught you to...? wally: go to the bathroom and never return.

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Cushion In Schedule

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Cushion In Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #weekend, #work, #deadline, #due date, #schedule, #input, #critical, #liar, #credibility, #exaggerate

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dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.

32 Page Slide Deck

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32 Page Slide Deck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idiot, #input, #insult, #sadist, #sarcasm, #slide deck, #technology

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co-worker: would you mind reviewing my 32-page slide deck and giving me your thoughts? dilbert: my thoughts are that only a sadist or an idiot would make a 32-page slide deck. co-worker: you'll never guess which one i am. dilbert: i feel as if i could.

Elbonian Words

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Elbonian Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #elbonian, #headquarters, #language, #factory, #Word

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boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.

Information From Carl

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Information From Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #colleagues, #rude, #mumble, #ignorance, #information, #business, #stalk, #cubicle, #layers

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Tina: i almost got some information from carl. i stalked him to his cubicle and penetrated his outer defense of rudeness. but i never broke through his mumble layer. dilbert: wait until you get to his ignorance layer.

Wally Makes A Suggestion

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Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk

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wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.

5 G Format

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5 G Format - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #recommendation, #5g, #format, #industry, #standard, #tricking

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dilbert: and that's why i recommend creating a 5g format called orthogonal frequency division multiplexing. boss: that will never work. dilbert: it's already an industry standard. i was joking. boss: stop doing the to me. dilbert: i don't know if i can.

Ted And His Laptop

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Ted And His Laptop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #employment, #fired, #laptop, #technology

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boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...