Before Start Comic Strips - Page 71

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View 701 - 708 results for before start comic strips. Discover the best "Before Start" comics from Dilbert.com.

Conflict Resolution

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Conflict Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #anger, #office workers, #conflict, #resolution, #discussion, #temperature, #idiots, #yammering, #sarcasm, #insult

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boss: i couldn't help noticing you are having a heated discussion. watch me use my conflict resolution skills to lower the temperature. okay, what were you idiots yammering about? tina: solid start.

Karma And Wally

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Karma And Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #family & parenting, #office workers, #name, #karma, #Advice, #discuss, #face mask

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wally: why did your parents name you karma? karma: i don't have parents. i am karma. wally: i suppose we have lots to discuss. karma: let's start with volume one.

When To Reply To Boss Text

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When To Reply To Boss Text  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #communication, #performance, #response, #review, #sarcasm, #spreadsheet, #technology, #text

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wally: how long should i wait before responding to a text message from my boss? dilbert: that depends. are you already overworked? wally: um, sure. dilbert: do you need to teach him a lesson for any unrelated things he did? wally: always. dilbert: do you dislike him in general? wally: yes. dilbert: lastly, how many months until your next performance review? wally: seven. dilbert: okay....putting those inputs into my spreadsheet. you can wait 27 minutes before responding. wally: oh. i was hoping it would be closer to five days. dilbert: when did he text you? wally: i believe it was august.

Medicinal Grade Coffee

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Medicinal Grade Coffee  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #office workers, #business, #health, #coffee, #strength, #side effects, #medicinal, #plywood

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wally with coffee: i've had a lot of side effects since i switched to medical-grade coffee. on the plus side, i can see through plywood, and i no longer need a tool to open jars. dilbert: you couldn't open jars before? wally: let's not dwell on that point.

Zoom Happy Hour

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Zoom Happy Hour  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #happy hour, #morale, #department, #alcohol, #drinking, #drunk

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boss on video conference with dilbert and alice. boss: we're going to start having zoom happy hour every weekday to boost morale. dilbert: you're the only one in the entire department who drinks alcohol. boss: you're all looshers. alice: did you already start drinking? boss: i love you!

Wally Answers Texts Later

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Wally Answers Texts Later  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #lazy, #working, #ignore, #text, #email, #response, #data

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asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.

Dogbert The Watcher

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Dogbert The Watcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work from home, #bribe, #home, #nap, #efficient, #employer, #employment, #wiser, #unethical

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dilbert at home. dilbert: i did more work from home today before 10 a.m. than i could do in the office all day. i could take a nap for the rest of the day, and no one would be the wiser. dogbert: your employer pays me to watch you at home, but i wouldn't say no to a well-considered bribe. dilbert: i can work with that.

Sales To Elbonia

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Sales To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #government policy, #sales, #sale, #elbonia, #government, #ban, #accomplices

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boss: i'm happy to announce that we just made a huge sale in elbonia. dilbert: are you aware that last week our government banned all sales to elbonia? boss: before you go blabbing that all over the place remember that all of you are accomplices.