Office Comic Strips - Page 71
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997 Results for Office
View 701 - 710 results for office comic strips. Discover the best "Office" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 24,
2019
Be More Like Alice
Tags complain, office, office workers, pay raise
Transcript
the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday April 25,
2019
New Feature Added
Tags business, marketing, office, office workers, time travel
Transcript
the boss: i need you to add a feature to our product because our marketing campaign says we already have it. dilbert: no problem. what's the feature? the boss: time travel. the boss: how long will it take to add that feature? dilbert: if i'm successful, i'll have it done by last week.
Friday April 26,
2019
Objective Reality
Tags business, office, office workers, mit, deliverables
Transcript
the boss: wally, can you explain why your deliverables are late? wally: an experiment at kit suggests there is no objective reality, so maybe i wasn't late. the boss: i don't know how to respond to that. wally: try smiling and nodding. maybe toss in an "oh."
Saturday April 27,
2019
Experts And Non Experts
Tags business, office, office workers, experts, architecture
Transcript
dilbert: the experts say our architecture is not scalable. the boss: bah! the experts are biased. i want to hear what the non-experts say. dilbert: they say we should listen to the experts. the boss: okay, how about the people who are neither experts not non-experts?
Sunday April 28,
2019
Wally Needs A Raise
Tags business, office, office workers, system, architect, Promotion, pay raise
Transcript
wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.
Monday April 29,
2019
Dogbert Starts A Podcast
Tags business, office, office workers, podcast
Transcript
dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.
Tuesday April 30,
2019
Welcome Baskets
Tags business, office, office workers, racism, new employee
Transcript
alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.
Wednesday May 01,
2019
Two Step Reorg
Tags business, office, office workers, reorganization
Transcript
the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?
Thursday May 02,
2019
Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom
Tags business, office, office workers, mobile phone
Transcript
carol: every time i try to call your mobile phone, you don't answer. wally: i only answer my phone when i'm in the bathroom. carol: i will never call you again. wally: it's time for office hours.
Friday May 03,
2019
Chatting With The Ceo
Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, ceo
Transcript
the boss: i saw you chatting with our eco. what was that all about? dilbert: we were talking about what a great job you do. dilbert: you believe that, right? the boss: seems plausible.


