Wally Comic Strips - Page 71
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1000 Results for Wally
View 701 - 710 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 11,
2013
Tags friendship, introvert, drained, human vibe, bird, furniture, robots, animals, relationships
Transcript
Wally: You claim to be an introvert and yet you never seem to be drained when you talk to me. Dilbert: That's because you don't put off a human vibe. I experience you in the same way I experience birds, furniture, and robots. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: Don't talk.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday October 07,
2013
Tags deception, work ethic, headhunter, soften up, sqaut
Transcript
Wally: I'm a headhunter and I know someone who wants to offer you a much better job. Phone: Yes! Wally: I like to soften the room before I go for my performance review. I didn't do squat this year. Boss: Doesn't matter to me!
Thursday October 03,
2013
Tags irony, meetings, work ethic, time in meetings, waste of time
Transcript
Wally: I'm happy to report that I spent 50% more time in meetings this quarter. Boss: That's not an accomplishment! Meetings are a complete waste of time! Wally: How would I have learned that without a meeting?
Wednesday October 02,
2013
Tags build hyperloop, connect every city, fast transportaion, vision, pat back
Transcript
CEO: Build a hyperloop to connect every major city in the world with super-fast transportation. The vision was the hard part. You idiots can work on the details. Someone pat me on the back. I can't reach it with my T-rex arms.
Tuesday October 01,
2013
Tags victims, wages, lazy, undependable, disruptive, raise, blamed victime, money
Transcript
Boss: You're lazy, undependable, and disruptive. That's why I can't give you a raise this year. Dilbert: How'd it go? Wally: He blamed the victim.
Sunday September 22,
2013
Tags embarras myself, emotional meltdown, panicked, public speaking, substance abuse, worry
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm panicked about my presentation tomorrow. Wally: Relax. What's the worst that could happen? Dilbert: Well, I could embarrass myself in a career-ending way. Wally: Oh. I didn't think about that one. It might be so bad that you can't even get a recommendation for a future job. Then you'd have an emotional meltdown followed by substance abuse, untreated health issues, and a lonely death. And it could all happen because of something as trivial as a typo on one of your slides. I guess I can add "comforting" to my list of things I'm no good at.
Monday September 16,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, surveillance, government databases, rest passwords, case file, face on pennies
Transcript
Wally: I thought you were on the run for hacking the government's databases. Dilbert: I was. But they forgot to reset their passwords, so I deleted my case file and gave myself a tax break. Wally: Did you get me anything? Dilbert: You're the new face on pennies.
Sunday September 15,
2013
Tags frustration, managers & supervisors, product changes, change orders, new features, online change order system, old forms, change order, managemet, better plan, business
Transcript
Boss; Don't make any product changes without change orders. When users ask for new features, direct them to the online change order system. Dilbert: That system only has the old forms. Boss: Tell someone to put the new ones on there. Wally: That would require a change order. Dilbert: Maybe we could tell users our sense of hope was killed by something called management. The we could sort of slump over like we're waiting for death's cold embrace. Boss: I'll get back to you if I think of a better plan.
Monday September 09,
2013
Tags apathy, civil liberties, surveillance, arrested dilbert, stealing data, spy software, givernement
Transcript
Wally: The government arrested Dilbert for stealing back the data their spy software stole from us. Alice: Whose side are we on? Wally: Well, I'm not crazy about the government. Alice: But Dilbert can be a pain in the Spanx, too. Wally: Have you ever tried apathy? It's awesome.
Thursday August 29,
2013
Tags coffee & tea, inventions, violence, garbage disposal, killed, murder, competetive
Transcript
Robot: Here is your coffee, as requested. Some guy tried to take the last cup, so I strangled him and put his remains down the garbage disposal. Wally: It's weird how that makes the coffee taste so much better.

