Business People Comic Strips - Page 71
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1000 Results for Business People
View 701 - 710 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 15,
2011
Tags conversation, suspicion, no clue, software works, wear noisier shoes, talk behind back
Transcript
Dilbert: Wow, the guy who wrote this doesn't have a clue how software works. Man: When you talk about people behind their backs, it makes me wonder what you say about me. Alice: I think we just solved that mystery. Dilbert: You should wear noisier shoes.
Tuesday August 16,
2011
Tags meetings, questioning, best plan, ignorant nusinace, meeting, business
Transcript
Boss: This is the best plan in the world, and anyone who disagrees is an ignorant nuisance. Now I'll open it up for comments. Anyone? Anyone? Wally: I'd like to thank you for shortening this meeting.
Wednesday August 31,
2011
Tags complaining, conversation, get mad, point out dumb, helpful, doctor, Dogbert, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I wonder why people get mad when I point out how dumb they are. I'm just trying to be helpful. I don't want people going through life not knowing what the problem is. I'm kind of like a doctor. Dogbert: I stopped listening back at the house.
Monday September 05,
2011
Tags anxiety, stress, creative, ethical shortcuts, less honest, questions, uncomfortable, job interview
Transcript
Interview Alice: Are you creative? Man: Oh, yes. I'm very creative. Alice: Research tells us that creative people take ethical shortcuts and are generally less honest. Man: Ooh. Alice: Do you take a long time to do things? Man: I don't know the right answer!
Tuesday September 06,
2011
Tags office workers, job interview, work long hours, 14 hour days, bad descions, bad decision maker, good communicator
Transcript
Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?
Wednesday September 07,
2011
Tags business ethics, computers & peripherals, software, install and test, database software, engineering
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: I recommend that you buy the Dogbert database software. Boss: Did I just pay a consultant to recommend his own company's software? Dogbert: I'm totally objective. Boss: Who would install and test it? Dogbert: Maybe a consultant who knows the product?
Saturday September 17,
2011
Tags commerce, competition (psychology), hate new product, customers, fake revenue projections, engineer, stronger company, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: If consumers hate our new product, we will probably go out of business. If they love our new product, a stronger company will enter the space and drive us out of business. CEO: Tell the engineer to stop making me sad. Boss: I have some fake revenue projections to cheer you up.
Monday September 26,
2011
Tags employees, violence, burt nount, started yesterday, sneezed away, business
Transcript
Man: Hi, my name is Burnt Nount. I started here yesterday. Alice: Sneeze coming. AAACHOOO!! I gotta warn you, they come in threes.
Sunday October 16,
2011
Tags choosing, meetings, creative ideas, next prodcut, ignorance on public disply, cost money, increase risk, evaluate each idea, disdain, good idea
Transcript
Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.
Wednesday October 05,
2011
Tags cruelty, employees, employee of month, october 1929, room to grow, past date, past month, business
Transcript
Boss: Congratulations, Asok. I'm naming you employee of the month. Your month is October 1929. Room to grow.


