Everybody Likes Project Comic Strips - Page 71

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

730 Results for Everybody Likes Project

View 701 - 710 results for everybody likes project comic strips. Discover the best "Everybody Likes Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Meeting Rooms Are Booked

Thank you for voting.
Meeting Rooms Are Booked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #managers, #scheduling, #conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.

Anyone Fired Lately

Thank you for voting.
Anyone Fired Lately - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #blame, #fired, #scapegoat, #laziness, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Before I give my project status report, has anyone quit or been fired recently? Boss: I fired Ted last week. Now tell me why your project is late. Wally: It was Ted's fault.

The Extra 10%

Thank you for voting.
The Extra 10%  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #excuses, #effort, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our project can only succeed if each of us gives 110 percent. Voice 1: I'm off next week. Voice 2: I have surgery on Monday. Voice 3: I gave my two-week notice a week ago. Boss: Okay, can I get a 50 percent effort from any of you? Wally: I can only give you the extra 10 percent you believe exists.

Spare Time

Thank you for voting.
Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #time, #help, #rudeness

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you have some spare time to help me on my project? Dilbert: There's no such thing as spare time. There is only you inconveniencing me for your own selfish benefit. Man: You're being rude. Dilbert: Stop blaming the victim.

No Path To Success

Thank you for voting.
No Path To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #proof, #guilt, #exoneration, #accusation, #negative

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I emailed you proof that you were wrong when you accused me of deleting Alice's project files. Boss: Now I hate you for always needing to be right. Dilbert: I don't see a path to success here. Boss: Your negativity is like a cancer in the workplace.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #berating, #yelling, #gaslight, #temper, #anger, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.

The Losing Team

Thank you for voting.
The Losing Team  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #blockchain, #training, #improvement, #legacy, #education, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd like to work on our blockchain project to keep my skills updated. Boss: I need you to be a team player and maintain our legacy systems until your technical skills become obsolete. Dilbert: What kind of team is that? Boss: You'll be on the losing team.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #manipulation, #fear, #tactic, #ignorance, #jargon, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I need help persuading your boss to bless my project. Should I use facts and logic? Dilbert: No, he hates that stuff. Woman: Maybe I could appeal to his better angels? Dilbert: His better angels wear noise-canceling headphones. Woman: Okay, fine. I'll just appeal to his self-interest. Dilbert: It would be in his best interest to avoid people like you. Woman: What do you suggest? Dilbert: We've had good outcomes using his ignorance and fear. Woman: Sign this ore else a blockchain drone will kill you in your sleep. Boss: Where's my pen!

Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team

Thank you for voting.
Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.

Do Not Implicate Boss

Thank you for voting.
Do Not Implicate Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #deadline, #responsibility, #accountability, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My project is two weeks late because you came to work two weeks ago and gave me the flu. Boss: Do you have any excuses that don't implicate me as the main problem? Dilbert: How about I say I didn't feel motivated and leave it otherwise vague? Boss: I can work with that.