Give Fortune To Charity Comic Strips - Page 71

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

726 Results for Give Fortune To Charity

View 701 - 710 results for give fortune to charity comic strips. Discover the best "Give Fortune To Charity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Knowing What Wally Does

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Knowing What Wally Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, job, projects, expectations, heuristics

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.

View more books now

Alice Would Complain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Would Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complain, managers & supervisors, assignment, business, technology, problem, solve

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i was going to give this assignment to alice, but i know she would complain about it. dilbert reading paper: i don't want it either. boss: do you plan to complain about it later? dilbert: not to your face. boss: problem solved.

Slide Deck Too Well Designed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Slide Deck Too Well Designed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, tasks, well-designed

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.

Ceo In Cubicle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo In Cubicle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, private, office, cubicle, common, work, employees

View Transcript

Transcript

eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, train, tech support, problem, reboot, computer, problem solving, genius

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

Point At End Of Slide Deck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Point At End Of Slide Deck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, coronavirus, slide, deck, Opinion, point, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker in face mask: what do you think of my slide deck? dilbert in face mask: i reviewed all 26 of your slides, and i can't figure out what your point is. co-worker: i could put the point on slide 27. dilbert: or just give up.

No Raise In Years

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Raise In Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, job, raise, nine, years, face mask, employment

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.

Helpful Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helpful Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, technology, Advice, personal, life, quality, work

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: can i give you some helpful advice? dilbert: judging by the quality of your life, i'd say you probably can't. co-worker: leave my personal life out of it. dilbert: okay, let's talk about the putrid quality of your work.

5 G Gives You A Bird Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
5 G Gives You A Bird Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, social media, bird head, study, apathy, 5g

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.

Narcisism Makes You Happy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Narcisism Makes You Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, narcissim, happy, unhappy, therapist, reason, face mask, wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: you should see a therapist about your narcissism. dilbert: if i'm happy and you're unhappy, doesn't that mean you should see a therapist and i should stay the way i am? carol: no, that's totally wrong, but give me a minute to come up with a reason.