Give Fortune To Charity Comic Strips - Page 71

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726 Results for Give Fortune To Charity

View 701 - 710 results for give fortune to charity comic strips. Discover the best "Give Fortune To Charity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Knowing What Wally Does

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Knowing What Wally Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #job, #projects, #expectations, #heuristics

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boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.

Alice Would Complain

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Alice Would Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complain, #managers & supervisors, #assignment, #business, #technology, #problem, #solve

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boss: i was going to give this assignment to alice, but i know she would complain about it. dilbert reading paper: i don't want it either. boss: do you plan to complain about it later? dilbert: not to your face. boss: problem solved.

Slide Deck Too Well Designed

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Slide Deck Too Well Designed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #tasks, #well-designed

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boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.

Ceo In Cubicle

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Ceo In Cubicle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #private, #office, #cubicle, #common, #work, #employees

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eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

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Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #train, #tech support, #problem, #reboot, #computer, #problem solving, #genius

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boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

Point At End Of Slide Deck

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Point At End Of Slide Deck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #coronavirus, #slide, #deck, #Opinion, #point, #sarcasm, #face mask

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co-worker in face mask: what do you think of my slide deck? dilbert in face mask: i reviewed all 26 of your slides, and i can't figure out what your point is. co-worker: i could put the point on slide 27. dilbert: or just give up.

No Raise In Years

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No Raise In Years   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #job, #raise, #nine, #years, #face mask, #employment

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office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.

Helpful Advice

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Helpful Advice   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #technology, #Advice, #personal, #life, #quality, #work

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co-worker: can i give you some helpful advice? dilbert: judging by the quality of your life, i'd say you probably can't. co-worker: leave my personal life out of it. dilbert: okay, let's talk about the putrid quality of your work.

5 G Gives You A Bird Head

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  5 G Gives You A Bird Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #social media, #bird head, #study, #apathy, #5g

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dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.

Narcisism Makes You Happy

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Narcisism Makes You Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #narcissim, #happy, #unhappy, #therapist, #reason, #face mask, #wrong

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Carol: you should see a therapist about your narcissism. dilbert: if i'm happy and you're unhappy, doesn't that mean you should see a therapist and i should stay the way i am? carol: no, that's totally wrong, but give me a minute to come up with a reason.