Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 71

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

993 Results for Job Interview

View 701 - 710 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags favor, excuse, integration manager, director of sustainability, real, matrix management, neo

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally, would you??" Wally says, "No. I'm doing something important for the brand integration manager." Coworker says, "Maybe after that you could?" Wally says, "Then I'm doing a rush job for the director of sustainability." Coworker says, "Are those even real people?" Wally says, "Welcome to Matrix management, Neo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wide eyes, merger, hope, status, upgrade, nonexistent, unimportant, job, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The people buying our company don't know that your project exists." The Boss says, "And you're not allowed to talk to anyone over there. But don't lose hope." The Boss says, "I'm working hard to upgrade your status from nonexistent to unimportant."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags update, script, accomplish, work, suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I made a script to write from the UFR SQL function to a log table I created for the DB so I can find the parameter errors." Wally says, "I'm giving you this status update while the script is running, so I'm accomplishing two things now." The Boss says, "How do I know you really did that thing you just said?" Wally says, "I guess now I'm doing your job too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, meeting, the end, apathy, hate, questions, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "That's my plan. I'd like to thank all of you for your utter apathy." Dilbert says, "A few of your stayed awake, and I think I got some accidental eye contact once when the A.C. made a noise." Dilbert says, "In conclusion, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, and I hope feral cats eat every one of you." Coworker says, "Are you taking questions?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new job, double workload, hold papers, complain, exaggerate, sit in chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Did I tell you I'm doing two jobs now?" Dilbert says, "About a million times." Dilbert says, "You've complained about it so much that it's like a song I can't get out of my head." Alice says, "I only found out yesterday." Dilbert says, "I'm trying to get ahead of it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new product, defective, kill, recall, fix, overalls, bleach, scrubby brush, shake hands

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I have a new job for you. Our product is defective and it's killing customers." Dilbert says, "You want me to organize a recall?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Engineer a fix?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss says, "You'll need overalls, several barrels of bleach and some sort of scrubby brush."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, singles, overalls, drink, cleaning, crime scenes, janitor, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "I love your tie-dyed overalls. That's a bold look." Dilbert says, "Actually, my job is cleaning crime scenes. I didn't have time to change." Dilbert says, "The singles scene is all about how you look."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, facebook, twitter, marketing, social media, new employee, coworker, cats, drunk, stupid, business, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Beth says, "As the marketing manager for social media, my job is to use these two words a lot." Beth says, "Marketing through social media is like herding cats. And just to make it interesting, many of the cats are drunk and stupid." Dilbert says, "Burn." Catbert says, "I am totally defriending that witch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new product, block of wood, ceo, salesman, high forehead, inneundo, leader

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Your product is nothing but a piece of wood. You need a charismatic pitchman to make gullible consumers buy it." Dogbert says, "Normally that would be your job as CEO. Unfortunately, you remind people of a giant?" CEO says, "Leader?" Dogbert says, "Exactly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, buzzword, idiot, intern, grab tie, cross eyes, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Tradition requires that every meeting has one buzzword-babbling idiot." Dilbert says, "We have no natural today, so Asok has graciously agreed to fill the role." Alice says, "Good job. You're totally selling it." Asok says, "We need a multi-platform application strategy!"