Turn On And Off Comic Strips - Page 71

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715 Results for Turn On And Off

View 701 - 710 results for turn on and off comic strips. Discover the best "Turn On And Off" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts

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Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #construction, #inventions, #nature, #technology, #trees

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Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.

Self Driving Car Named Carl

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Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat

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The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #exercise & fitness, #frustration, #lunch, #office workers, #time, #walking, #coworkers

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Dilbert: Would you like to take a long walk with me at lunch to get some exercise? Tina: That's a great idea! Dilbert: Okay, I'll come get you at noon. Ready? Tina: Yes, I only need ten minutes to finish this. Dilbert: I only have an hour for lunch, and your ten minutes will turn into twenty. Tina: That's okay because I wore heels today and I can't walk more than a block anyway. Dilbert: Why did you agree to take a long walk if you couldn't take a long walk? Tina: Because I was planning to walk to the store on the corner to do an errand anyway. Dilbert: You've ruined my walk! Tina: Just give me forty minutes to wrap this up.

Take The Stairs

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Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #birthdays, #encouragement, #exercise & fitness, #health, #office, #office workers, #company, #life insurance

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Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Wally's Dna

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Wally's Dna - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #dishes, #break room, #dna, #genealogy

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carol: did you leave unwashed dishes in the break room? wally: it wasn't me. carol:" i got a dna sample off a fork, ran it against public genealogy records and narrowed it down to your family. carol: how do you explain that? wally: sounds like i have a child i don't know about.

Offensive Product Name

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Offensive Product Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #insults, #office, #office workers, #elbonian

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dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #allergies, #hazmat

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alice: i need a new chair. mine is broken. the boss: you can use my old chair. i just got a new one. alice: the chair you sat in every day for the past twelve years? alice: by now that chair cushion is home to a thriving colony of your cooties. alice: that chair will be off--gassing you for decades. alice: i wouldn't touch that thing unless i were wearing a hazmat suit over my other hazmat suit. alice: i'm breaking into a flop sweat just thinking about it, and i think it's triggering my allergies. the boss: would you like to borrow my hand-kerchief? alice is visually in a daze.

Bad Planning

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Bad Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #teamwork, #team, #deadline

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ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.

If You Can Dream

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If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #Dilbert, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Wally

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The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.