Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 72
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 711 - 720 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 25,
2004
Tags ceo, worer, 40 million a year, 400 x worker pay, salary, disparity, golden egg, every ten minutes, money
Transcript
The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."
Saturday January 31,
2004
Tags risk, pr plan, karma, extra fee, infinite fabric, britney spear, hairstly, back hair
Transcript
"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"
Tuesday February 03,
2004
Tags menagerlike work, criticize, reorganize, key board, hot slef, noredom, offcie, re organizing
Transcript
The Boss: It's been a few hours since I've done anything managerish. I could criticize someone...nah. I could have a meeting...nah. Im reorganizing the department. Dilbert: excuse me while i beat myself with my keyboard.
Wednesday February 11,
2004
Tags new wireless hassock prodcut, sales people, work in teams, wear e;ectroshock, close the deal
Transcript
The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"
Tuesday February 17,
2004
Tags pursue disruptive innovations.glorious, fully funded, amzing, free from bureaucracy, bean bag charis
Transcript
DOGBURT CONSULTS dogcart: "I recommend forming a separate group to pursue disruptive innovations." "It will be a glorious place: fully funded, amazing ambiance, brilliant people, free from bureaucracy." "Best of all, once a year they'll let you losers tour their work space and sit in their bean bag chairs."
Thursday February 26,
2004
Tags dance with death, secreatry, desk, work to early grave, first to drop, good morning, first thing, competition, resentment, anger
Transcript
Carol: "Well, look who came back to dance with death." "Once again you will try to work me to an early grave and I will book you on dangerous business trips." "Who will be the first to drop? Who?" The boss: "What ever happened to 'good morning'?"
Sunday February 29,
2004
Tags boss's boss, misinformed, mismanaged, oss confused, poorly managed, dont communicate
Transcript
wally: "Gaaa! Our boss's is coming!" Dilbert: "Where?" Zoop "Uh oh." "Hello, head count." Dilbert: "I need to run, tons of work." "Why? Are you poorly managed?" Dilbert: "No, we have everything we need! Everything is perfect." "So... was your boss confused, lying or misinformed when he asked me for more funding for your budget?" Dilbert: "Noooo! Ignore me! I don't know anything." "Hmm." "Dilbert says you don't communicate with the staff and don't need money." Dilbert: "Phew! I'm glad that's over."
Sunday March 07,
2004
Tags boss's office, employee, exciting challenges, fertilized plant, hard work done, tree grows
Transcript
Asok: "I worked nights and weekends to finish my project ahead of schedule." The Boss: "Good. Here's more work." Asok: "I don't understand. Am I being punished for working hard?" The Boss: "No, you're being rewarded with exciting new challenges." Asok: "Why does the plant grow faster when you say things like that?" The Boss: "No reason." "Stop that!" "Anyway, your annual performance review will award your hard work." Wally: That is one fertilized plant
Tuesday March 09,
2004
Tags enjoyable job, complaining spouse, enjoy being at work
Transcript
Dilbert: How can I make my job more enjoyable? Garbageman: Get a spouse who complains a lot and then have a few kids. Dilbert: Thats sound awful. Garbageman: you won't believe how much you enjoy being at work.
Friday March 12,
2004
Tags 360 review, evil, judged, lazy, manipulative, no risk, quality of work, retribution
Transcript
"It's called a 360 degree review. You get to evaluate me at no risk of retribution." "No matter what you say about me, you will only be judged on the quality of your work." "Sometimes you are lazy, evil and manipulative." "The quality of your work just went way down."

