Bad Decisions Comic Strips - Page 72
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771 Results for Bad Decisions
View 711 - 720 results for bad decisions comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Decisions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 27,
2019
Jargon Cancelling Headphones
Tags doctor, doctors' offices, office, office workers, prescription, headphones, jargon
Transcript
doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday July 28,
2019
Bad Hair Day
Tags angry, boss, employees, employment, hair, hairstyles, meetings, threat, warning
Transcript
Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.
Tuesday August 13,
2019
Hiring A Bad Analogy Guy
Tags office, office workers, questions, sarcasm, arrogance
Transcript
Boss: I hired a bad analogy guy. Instead of giving reasons for his opinions, he asks ridiculous questions while acting arrogant. Dilbert: That doesn't seem useful. Man: Would you say that about oxygen?
Wednesday August 14,
2019
Bad Analogy Guy Fits In
Tags employees, insults, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.
Thursday August 15,
2019
The Bad Analogy Guy
Tags meetings, office workers, sarcasm, war
Transcript
Man: This meeting reminds me of the sixth elbonian revolution. Therefore, logically, this meeting will end with bayonets. Asok: What's wrong with you? Man: Can I borrow your pen?
Tuesday August 20,
2019
Wally Monetizes His Pet Status
Tags boss, criticism, employees, managers & supervisors, money, office workers, bribe
Transcript
Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.
Friday August 30,
2019
No One Is Taking Advice
Tags Advice, confidence, employees, jobs, office workers, youth
Transcript
Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.
Friday September 13,
2019
Tina Vents
Tags complaining, employees, office workers, avoidance, negativity
Transcript
Tina: I've had a bad week. Do you mind if I vent? Dilbert: I see no reason why I should be exposed to your toxic negativity. Tina: I'm going to do it anyway. Dilbert: Headphones.
Tuesday September 17,
2019
Bad Attitude
Tags big business, complaining, employees, obliviousness, attitude
Transcript
Catbert: I need to talk to you about your bad attitude. Dilbert: I'm surrounded by useless idiots, and I work in a fabric-covered box. How can I have a good attitude? Catbert: Oh, good. I was hoping it would be something I couldn't fix.
Wednesday September 18,
2019
Read The Manual
Tags computer software, employees, frustrated, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.