Computer Software Comic Strips - Page 72
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870 Results for Computer Software
View 711 - 720 results for computer software comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Software" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 02,
2013
Tags death & dying, internet & world wide web, extreme sports, basejump, space station, machine learning, inetrnational
Transcript
Computer: Based on your internet history, you might be dumb enough to enjoy extreme sports. Click here to buy a ticket to base jump from the International Space Station. Boss: I think the internet is trying to kill me. Dilbert: We call it "machine learning."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday February 10,
2013
Tags dog, facebook, facebook page, internet & world wide web, linkedin, stocks, twitter, websites, work ethic, working from home, distractions, animals
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm working at home today. It will be as if we're co-workers. Dogbert: Ugh. This madness must stop! You should check your Facebook page to see what's new. You should check Twitter. Dilbert: I'm almost finished with Facebook. Dogbert: Did you get my LinkedIn request? Dilbert: I'll check. Dogbert: I send you some links to funny websites. Dilbert: Cool! I just spent ten hours at my computer and I can't remember why I was sitting there in the first place. Dogbert: You were going to check your stocks. Dilbert: Okay. That sounds right. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later.
Tuesday February 19,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), joking, new software, interrupt you, carpal tunnel, replace humans
Transcript
Boss: The new software will interrupt you every five minutes so you don't get carpal tunnel. Dilbert: Aren't you worried the software will replace you? hee-hee! Boss: I don't get that. Dilbert: That's why it's funny.
Sunday February 24,
2013
Tags complaining, computer programmers, code mocking, engineering tradition, software project, new engineer, mock previous engineer, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Are you coming to the code mocking? Asok: The what? Dilbert: Code mocking is an engineering tradition. It happens whenever a software project is handed to a new engineer. The new engineer is required to mock the previous engineer's work in a public way. We spectators get to vote on whether the old code is killed or spared. Coworker: Ha ha! His code is hilariously inefficient! Ouch. Chest pain. Dilbert: Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Coworker: Gaaa!! The code is offending my engineering sensibilities! It's killing me! Dilbert: I forgot to mention that sometimes the code wins.
Monday May 13,
2013
Tags boss, inventions, joking, remote control, shocked, stick collar, wearable computing, necklace computer
Transcript
Wally: Wearable computing is the next big thing. This is my prototype of a necklace computer. Prepare to be shocked. Dilbert: Did you just talk him into wearing a remotely controlled shock collar? Wally: People think I have no goals. click.
Thursday June 13,
2013
Tags frustration, obliviousness, sales personnel, software, third party library, new version, windows, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: The software you sold us stopped working after a week. What's up with that? Salesman: We use a third-party library, and it isn't compatible with the new version of Windows. Dilbert: And...? Salesman: We appreciate your business?
Monday June 17,
2013
Tags computers & peripherals, inventions, space flight, experiment, reality, computer program, created by aliens, science
Transcript
Dilbert: My experiment proves our reality is a computer program created by aliens. What kind of jerks would yank us around like this? Alien Dilbert: Well, that was gonna happen... Meanwhile on Planet Epsilon-9...
Saturday June 22,
2013
Tags deception, work ethic, defraying disk drive, compiling code
Transcript
Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm in the middle of defragging my disk drive. When that's done, my computer will be compiling code for a few hours. Dilbert: How's work? Wally: I hear bad things about it.
Sunday August 11,
2013
Tags frustration, lawyers, software, license, legal dept, services, email, open source, definsition, forge signature, software license, engineering
Transcript
Boss: Can you approve the purchase of this software? Boss: You need to run the software license past legal first. Lawyer: You need to fill out a legal services request form. I'll email it to you. Make sure you specify whether the software is open source or not. Dilbert: How would I know if it meets your definition of open source? Lawyer: It depends how the license is written. You'll need to ask legal to review it. Dilbert: Never mind. I'll just forge your signature on the form. Lawyer: Maybe this is why I've never seen a software license.
Thursday August 22,
2013
Tags actors & actresses, contests, work ethic, academy award, convincing portrayl, dishonor, nominated
Transcript
Computer: Dear Wally, You have been nominated for an academy award... for your convincing portrayal of an employee who does actual work. Dilbert: Do you think you'll win? Wally: It's a dishonor just to be nominated.


