Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 72

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Coworkers Getting Dumber

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Coworkers Getting Dumber - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, Dilbert, imagination, co-workers, dumber, know

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Dilbert: Is it my imagination or are my co-workers getting dumber every day? Catbert: They aren't getting dumber. You're just getting to know them better. It looks the same.

Ted The Liar

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Ted The Liar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, the boss, ted, liar, policy, forbid, disrespecting, co-workers, lying

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The Boss: Ted says you called him a liar. Our policy forbids disrespecting your co-workers. Alice: But Ted's lying is okay? The Boss: We don't have a policy about lying. Alice: Did Ted tell you that? The Boss: Yes. Oh...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, co-workers, phone calls, cubicle, breaks, flow, Food, smells, break, room, pretending, thermostat

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Dilbert: My co-workers make it impossible to work. I hear every one of their phone calls. It's maddening. When they walk past my cubicle it breaks my flow. And don't get me started about the food smells coming from the break room. They ask me one dumb question after another. I don't know who keeps turning up the thermostat. But it's too hot to think. The Boss: Would it help if I threaten to fire you? Dilbert: It's worth a try I'll be in my cubicle pretending to work.

Exceeding Expectations

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Exceeding Expectations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, employment, job, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus because you haven't exceeded my expectations. Dilbert: Did you expect me to exceed your expectations? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: It is logically impossible to exceed your expectations when you expect me to do it. Boss: No bonus!!!

Punishing For Others

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Punishing For Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employment, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, salary

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Boss: We've decided to level the organization. This means a slight pay cut for senior engineers such as yourself, but I hope you'll be a team player. Dilbert: Are you punishing me for the mediocrity of others? Boss: Only indirectly.

Best Places To Work

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Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, employment, irony, lying, managers & supervisors, office

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Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, business, criticism, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

Speakerphones

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Speakerphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, criticism, distraction, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, phone call, sarcasm

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Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because my idiot co-workers continue to use their speakerphones in the office. This is compounded by the fact that my idiot boss doesn't allow me to work from home. If you need me, I'll be sitting in my cubicle doing nothing but waiting for other people's phone calls to end.

Making Your Boss Look Good

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Making Your Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, criticism, ego, managers & supervisors, office workers, responsibility

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Boss: You did this wrong. Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it. Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good". Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

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Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.