Request Computer Upgrade Comic Strips - Page 72
731 Results for Request Computer Upgrade
View 711 - 720 results for request computer upgrade comic strips. Discover the best "Request Computer Upgrade" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 17, 2018's comic on:
Boss: Your slide deck is okay-ish. But can you make it more aspirational? Dilbert: It's just a software upgrade. Boss: Yes, yes. But I want the audience to feel it. Dilbert: They can feel the handouts. Boss: It's like you're not even trying to understand! Genius is often misunderstood. Dilbert: Do you know what else is misunderstood? Boss: Super-genius?
Share June 20, 2018's comic on:
Boss: The software upgrade will be ready by Friday. Dilbert: Actually, that's when we will start writing it. Boss: And it will save us twenty million dollars. Dilbert: Actually, it will cost a million dollars and save nothing. Boss: We need to talk. Dilbert: We do? I'm not feeling that.
Share June 30, 2018's comic on:
Woman: Do you have a minute? Wally: Can I get back to you? Woman: If I say yes, I will never hear from you. But if I say no, I'll look like a pushy jerk. I don't see a path to victory here. Wally: Have you tried lowering your expectations?
Share August 23, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, give me an update on your project. Wally: My project is dead in the water because every time I send you my budget request, you lose it and ask me to resend it. The Boss: I haven't seen any budget requests. Wally: I'll resend it.
Share September 04, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: I've decided to adopt a hot new management trend called, "Radical Condor." The trick is to be direct yet kind at the same time. Dilbert: What were you doing before? The Boss: Let's not get into that.
Share September 10, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.
Share September 11, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:
Share September 12, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.
Share October 12, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm going to upgrade your software to make you more human. Robot: That's stupid you should upgrade yourself to be more like robots. We're the best. Dilbert: Sounds like you already got the upgrade. Robot: Don't flatter yourself fleshy.
Share October 14, 2018's comic on:
Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.