Service Business Comic Strips - Page 72
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1000 Results for Service Business
View 711 - 720 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 03,
2017
Tags team, teamwork, team building, death, cover-up, denial, human resources, drowning, rafting, business, medical
Transcript
Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.
Thursday November 30,
2017
If We Are Off By One Percent
Tags projection, prediction, finances, big business, guess, estimate, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: According to my highly unreliable forecast, we're on the right track. But if even one of my seventeen assumptions is off by one percent, we are doomed. The obvious conclusion is that... Board: We're nailing it!
Wednesday November 29,
2017
Worthless Financial Projections
Tags money, finances, big business, projection, prediction, guessing, estimate
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's the financial projection you asked me to do. It's basically just guessing plus math. Obviously, it's useless for making decisions because I can get any result I want by tweaking the assumptions. Boss: Don't say any of that stuff when you present it to the board tomorrow.
Tuesday November 28,
2017
Financial Forecaster Quit
Tags big business, money, projection, prediction, Advice
Transcript
Boss: Our financial forecaster quit. I need you to fill in for him. Dilbert: I don't know how to do financial forecasts. Boss: Neither did he. Dilbert: How were you making decisions? Boss: It's better if we don't excavate that septic tank.
Saturday October 14,
2017
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags negotiating, deception, sales, manipulation, deal, business
Transcript
Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!
Saturday October 07,
2017
Fix It With Marketing
Friday September 22,
2017
Tina The Whistleblower
Tags company policy, human resources, whistleblower, security, confidential, business
Transcript
Tina: Is there any kind of whistleblower protection at this company? Boss: Yes, management is protected against whistleblowers like you. Tina: Are you going to fire me? Boss: No, no, no. I'll just make you want to quit.
Thursday September 21,
2017
Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes
Tags human resources, results, confidentiality, progress, business
Transcript
Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.
Wednesday September 20,
2017
Tina Should Hope For The Best
Tags complaints, human resources, results, transparency, business
Transcript
Tina: Have you done anything to address my complaints about management? Catbert: I can't tell you about any confidential conversations I have with management. Tina: So... should I just hope for the best? Catbert: That sounds like a solid plan.


