Coming Off Patent Comic Strips - Page 72

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725 Results for Coming Off Patent

View 711 - 720 results for coming off patent comic strips. Discover the best "Coming Off Patent" comics from Dilbert.com.

Self Driving Car Named Carl

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Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat

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The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

Take The Stairs

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Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #birthdays, #encouragement, #exercise & fitness, #health, #office, #office workers, #company, #life insurance

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Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

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Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere

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Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Wally's Dna

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Wally's Dna - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #dishes, #break room, #dna, #genealogy

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carol: did you leave unwashed dishes in the break room? wally: it wasn't me. carol:" i got a dna sample off a fork, ran it against public genealogy records and narrowed it down to your family. carol: how do you explain that? wally: sounds like i have a child i don't know about.

Offensive Product Name

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Offensive Product Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #insults, #office, #office workers, #elbonian

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dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #allergies, #hazmat

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alice: i need a new chair. mine is broken. the boss: you can use my old chair. i just got a new one. alice: the chair you sat in every day for the past twelve years? alice: by now that chair cushion is home to a thriving colony of your cooties. alice: that chair will be off--gassing you for decades. alice: i wouldn't touch that thing unless i were wearing a hazmat suit over my other hazmat suit. alice: i'm breaking into a flop sweat just thinking about it, and i think it's triggering my allergies. the boss: would you like to borrow my hand-kerchief? alice is visually in a daze.

Old Time Chair

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Old Time Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #ergonomics

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office worker: are you still using an old-time chair? office worker: i sit on a giant rubber ball because of all the ergonomics and stuff. office worker yelling: i'm better than you!!! dilbert: i wondered if there was a summary coming.

Bad Denials

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Bad Denials - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #spying, #elbonia

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ceo: have you confirmed that the cyber attacks are coming from elbonia? dilbert: no. ceo: i guess that means you are on their side. dilbert: what? catbert: what proof do you have that dilbert is a spy? ceo: he didn't deny it the way I think he should have.

If You Can Dream

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If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #Dilbert, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Wally

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The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.

Zombie Projects

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Zombie Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #zombie, #sloth, #fail, #salary

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the boss: wally, i'm putting you in charge of all the zombie projects that refuse to die. the boss: i'm counting on your sloth and incompetence to finish them off, so management feels comfortable finally canceling them. the boss: as of today, i'm paying you to fail. wally: actually, this is just the first time you're aware of it.