Computer Software Comic Strips - Page 72

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870 Results for Computer Software

View 711 - 720 results for computer software comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

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I stayed up all night working on Mindy's software because she threatened me if I didn't. "Really? Threats make you work all night?" "Um...No?" "Work on this all night or I'll punch you."

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Dogbert's tech support "Try turning off your router, your modem, and your computer." "Now turn off your air conditioning, your lights, and your water heater. Unplug your microwave and defrost your refrigerator." "You're very thorough." "Cancel your garbage service, renounce your citizenship, and yank out your phone."

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Dogbert's tech support "Give me a list of all the software and hardware you're using." "Now sit there like a sheep while I randomly select a product from the list and tell you it's the problem." "What if I know it isn't?" "That will matter less than you'd imagine."

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"Have fun working while I'm home chewing on your computer cables." "I'll probably start with a USB cable appetizer, then do the Ethernet cable with blue cheese dressing." "Then I'm going to wrap my colon around some coax." "I envy you, and it's disturbing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happy birthday, 50 years old, entire life, delusional thing, old man, office, computer, aging, dementia, life changes, technology

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Dilbert: "Happy birthday. What's it feel like to be 50?" "It's great! I've never felt better in my entire life!" "So it's sort of a delusional thing?" "Yes, luckily."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags system failures, data aren't actionable, no practical value, crime, guilty, feel awkward, incident

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Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "We had fifteen system failures with the previous software." Dilbert says to Ted, "Your data aren't actionable." Ted replies, "What?" Dilbert continues, "Your presentation has no practical walue." Ted throws his hands in the air in defeat and says to Dilbert, "Well, if that's suddenly a crime then call me guilty!" Wally says, "Now the meeting feels awkward can we go back to acting interested?" Dilbert replies, "I guess." Ted says, "Fine. Let's put this ugly incident behind us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, cold calling, video chat, sales job, computer, selling on line, skype, technology

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Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.

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Tags anger, apathy, computer programmers, preventer of information, business case, teamwork seminar, goldfish crackers

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Mordac: I, Mordac, the preventer of information services, reject your business case because you used the old template. Ha ha ha! I feed on your anger and frustration! And now I will eat like a king! Dilbert: Good luck with that. I've been dead on the inside since the teamwork seminar. Mordac: Sheesh. I'm living on goldfish crackers.

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Tags new year's day, optimism, network down, bad new years day, good year

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Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.

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Tags models, out of stiock, credibility, bait and switch, tactics, sales, technology, computer, tablets, business

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Our model XR35 is the only one that will work in your situation. The other models would be nightmares. Dilbert: Okay, we'll take the XR35. Ted: Opps it appears we are out of stock. Dilbert: This is the part where your credibility comes into question. Ted: Have you looked at ethics's XP9? I think it would be perfect.