Director Of First Impressions Comic Strips - Page 72

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

763 Results for Director Of First Impressions

View 711 - 720 results for director of first impressions comic strips. Discover the best "Director Of First Impressions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Does Nothing Useful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Does Nothing Useful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, meaning, meaningless, motivation, laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All I did today was create a bunch of PowerPoint slides that no one will understand. But I got paid the same as if I had done something useful. Is this the first stage of becoming you? Wally: If you're lucky.

Repeating Your Point Too Much

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Repeating Your Point Too Much - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags body cam, camera, survillance, insult, rudeness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my body cam playback, you have repeated your point twelve times. Maybe you could try saying other things for a few minutes. Man: I wasn't expecting you to be so rude. Dilbert: You're not the first to make that mistake.

Wally Pretends To Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Pretends To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: If you need me, I'll be at my desk pretending to work. Alice: How long do you think you can get away with that? Wally: I wondered the same thing for the first fifteen years or so.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiation, demand, haggle, prices, pricing, negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trolling, troll, social media, argument, logic, reason, arguing, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Robot Can Take Boss's Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Can Take Boss's Job  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, boss, work, ai, artificial intelligence, automation

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I wonder whose job I'll take first. Boss: You could never do my job. Robot: I'm doing it right now. Boss: You're not doing anything. Robot: Right. Let that sink in.

Insurance For Phones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Insurance For Phones  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, technology, insurance, break, screen, cracked

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The company that insures our mobile phone product is angry because 100 percent of our phones break in the first minute. They say it's a disaster and it is putting them out of business. What should I tell them? Boss: Tell them they should have gotten some sort of insurance.

Wally Is Late For Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Late For Meetings  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, tardy, tardiness, late, time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting a lot of complaints about you being late for meetings. Wally: They never talk about anything important in the first ten minutes. Boss: They're usually talking about you being late. Wally: Why would I need to be there for that?

Moth Man Keeps Popping In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Moth Man Keeps Popping In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, talking, frustration, workload, annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get any work done because the storytelling mothman keeps popping in to my cubicle uninvited. Why did you hire a storytelling mothman in the first place? Was it not obvious this would happen? Boss: Everyone's a genius in hindsight.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags memory, demagoguery, social media, Opinion, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You said you hated this idea last week, but now you say you like it. How do you explain your flip-flopping? Dilbert: I always liked the idea. Nothing changed. Man: Hahaha! Nice try! You're back-pedaling because I busted you. Dilbert: Here is my email trail from the first moment the idea came up. As you can plainly see, I have liked the idea from the start. Any questions? Boss: Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?