Everybody Likes Project Comic Strips - Page 72
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Share June 06, 2018's comic on:
Boss: Decentralization will change everything. Dilbert: Such as? Boss: Well... for example, um... the bitcoin and the Ethereum. Alice: Did you recently read an article? Boss: Some of it.
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Share July 06, 2018's comic on:
Boss: There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that management is thinking about reorganizing the department. But reorganizing would obviously be a smart thing to do. Dilbert: Then why are you not considering it? Boss: This is exactly why no one likes you.
Share July 19, 2018's comic on:
Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.
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The Boss: This is Jerry the contract employee. I hired him to work on project zebra. Dilbert: We haven't even defined the project. How did you know what skills we needed? The Boss: Why are you so threatened by jerry? Jerry: He's not very agile.
Share September 02, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I put together a plan for our data center project. The Boss: We don't need a plan we're an agile company. It's better to move fast and fix our mistakes as we go. Dilbert: You're thinking of software. Where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. The Boss: That data center will be full of software, will it not? Dilbert: Yes, but... The Boss: Don't be afraid of change. Dilbert: What if I rapidly make a plan and tell you I didn't? Is that agile enough for you? The Boss: I'll need to google that.
Share October 07, 2018's comic on:
Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.
Share November 14, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I took over Ted's software project. Everything he did was inefficient and stupid. Okay, we're done here. I'm checking you off my list. Alice: How many people are you complaining to? Dilbert: I trimmed the list to three hundred.
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Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.
Share December 23, 2018's comic on:
Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?