Office Equipment Comic Strips - Page 72

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Office Equipment

View 711 - 720 results for office equipment comic strips. Discover the best "Office Equipment" comics from Dilbert.com.

Take The Stairs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags birthdays, encouragement, exercise & fitness, health, office, office workers, company, life insurance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Robot Has A Cyborg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Has A Cyborg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insults, Kids, office workers, robot, technology, smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.

Co2 Scrubbers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubbers  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, earth, inventions, office workers, plants, technology, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to invent a device that can scrub 100% of the CO2 out of the air. Dilbert: 100%??? That would kill every plant in the world. Do you know what that would mean for humans? Boss: Does the answer involve salad?

Lower The Price

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lower The Price - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, office, office workers, prices, negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss will yell at me if I don't negotiate a lower price. What can you do for me? Man: I lowered the price by ten percent before I showed it to you. Dilbert: I have no way of verifying your claim. Man: Neither does your boss. Problem solved.

Small Managers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Small Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, computer software, engineering, frustration, office workers, sarcasm, clients

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told a customer we would make a small change to the software for them. Dilbert: There are no small software changes, only small managers. Boss: Dang it! Why does that sound so wise!

Old Sayings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Old Sayings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, email, insult, office, office workers, sarcasm, sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered I can insult our boss if I make it sound like an old saying. He thinks all old sayings are wise. Wally: Here he comes. Boss: Did you read my email? Dilbert: A man who sends email has nothing to say.

Dumb Questions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, insults, meetings, office, office workers, questions, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let's brainstorm, and remember, there are no dumb questions, only dumb bosses. Boss: Was that necessary? Dilbert: I stand corrected: There is at least one dumb question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, inventions, office workers, power, science, success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, debates, frustration, office workers, evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: ...And that's what I think about the issue. Dilbert: Here's a Youtube video proving that everything you believe is wrong. Notice this isn't just an opinion. It is a video of the entire event you just claimed did not happen. I'm sending you a link to ten media stories debunking your version of events. Having now proved how wrong you are. Would you like to retract everything you said about it? Man: Why can't you admit when you are wrong? Dilbert: Because I'm not wrong!!!

Health Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags age, complaining, health, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.