Turn Down Comic Strips - Page 72

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736 Results for Turn Down

View 711 - 720 results for turn-down comic strips. Discover the best "Turn Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

How To Reduce Turnover

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How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, success, turnover, pay

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the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.

Wally Uses Speakerphonetif

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Wally Uses Speakerphonetif - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, office, office workers, speaker phone, voice-texting, click

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the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.

Boss Surgery

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Boss Surgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, brain, employees, insults, surgery

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Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.

Half Are Doing All The Work

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Half Are Doing All The Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, employment, fire, work

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boss: according to experts, about half of all employees are typically doing 100% of the work. i plan to beat the system by firing half of you. dilbert: wouldn't you need to keep firing half of whoever was left until you were down to one employee? boss: yes, but imagine how hard he will work.

Goofy Words

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Goofy Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, proposal, understand, clarification, end, misunderstand

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dilbert: and that's my blockchain proposal. any questions? boss: there was a part i didn't understand. dilbert: which part? boss: the words dilbert: all of them? boss: only the goofy ones. such as token, smart contract, certainty as a service, utxo blockchains, node, ledger, and daps. dilbert: so... you didn't understand anything i said for the past hour? boss: don't try to turn this into my fault dilbert: you could have asked me to clarify boss: i also wanted it to end.

Software Already Done

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Software Already Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, prototype, resources, software, program, miscommunication, frustration

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dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.

Smarter Than An Engineer

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Smarter Than An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, health, allergy, brain, fog, i.q., smart, engineer

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dilbert: i took allergy meds last night, and now i have brain fog. my i.q. is about 50% of normal capacity. boss: whoo-hoo! i'm smarter than an engineer! dilbert: not quite. i'm only down by 50%.

Brain Fog

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Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, business, health, meds, i.q., handsome, name

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dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?

Ted Talks Might Take Your Job

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Ted Talks Might Take Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, social media, technology, instagram, ted talks, smart, moron

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boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.

Cooties Contact Tracing

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Cooties Contact Tracing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 2 weeks, contact, cooties, doctor, doctors' offices, infect, physical, tracing, Women, zero

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doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.