New Product Comic Strips - Page 73

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Product

View 721 - 730 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blindfold, carbs, cublicle, heinous crime, put new guy, won't know blind fold, finance troll

View Transcript

Transcript

HECK were out of space boss. we've had a big upswing in people who use cell phone is bathrooms. Dang, Ive got a new guy coming in today, where will I put him? Maybe you could ask your brother,,, HMM... The boss: well, I suppose you could put hum in a cubicle. his crime wasn't that heinous, well, if you blind fold him, he won't know he's in a cubicle. so then I find pout its not okay to eat carbs.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags college, emplyee, first pay check, freak out, know about her, paid in cash, dedcutions, education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: do you want to watch when the new employee looks at her first paycheck? Wally: ooh-ya! Wally: what do we know about her? Dilbert: She's target out of college, all of her prior jobs paid her in cash. wally: perfect. dilbertL ear guards on. My first paycheck deductions???? Hmmm. how bad could it be? WAHT THE.... Next time no coffee. eh?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new voice presdient, right and wrong, customers project, hate the most, charge for time

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our new vice president of ethics will help you decide what's right and wrong." Wally: "When we talk to him, what customer's project should we charge for our time?" The Boss: "Whichever one we hate the most."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags senior vice president, impress, chummy with intern, slacking slacker, good motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The new senior vice president will be at my meeting, I hope to impress him with my leadership skills. Uh- oh underling alert. I can't be seen getting chummy with an intern, Pleas don't try to make conversation don't don't don't don't Asok: did you do anything fun this weekend? The boss: Here he comes! The boss: get back to work you slacking slacker!!! Good motivating! if he blows ho sons with every necktie. You're my new vice president.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags warning lables, on donuts, high calorie donuts, will kill you, tastes great, choked to death

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The government says we have to put warning labels on our forty thousand calorie, shard -filled doughnuts prodcut. Dogbert: How about: warning! this product will kill you but thats okay because it tastes great! Police: It looks like he chocked on some sort of warning label.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags revenue, people killed by product, health risks, kills people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our revenue is now double the number of people that our product has killed recently." Asok: "Our product costs $80. Are you saying that each one kills 40 people?" The Boss: "Our customers know the health risks, so technically they're killing themselves." Group: "So technically we aren't scum?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags banned, cell phones with cae, copied, digital form, emailed anywhere, evil director, excellent idea, new cell ohone, rendered useless, scanned, scrap book

View Transcript

Transcript

"Catbert: evil director of human resources" "Excellent idea." "Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace." "Why?" "We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information." "Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere." "The rest is on paper that can be copied, scanned or tucked down one's trousers." "My new cell phone will be rendered useless for no good reason!" "And you aren't even banning regular cameras!!" This one goes in the scrapbook." "Snap"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product development, brain storm ideas, boredom, chocolate cake, after lunch, roast beef mittens

View Transcript

Transcript

Product development The boss: first we'll cover the walls with brain storm ideas. How about something that turns boredom into chocolate cake? The Boss: I should have done this after lunch. Roast beef mittens?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new prodcut, wildly successful, under water, allocate expenses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new product is either wildly successful or underwater... DIlbert: depending on ho you want to allocate management over head expenses. Dilbert: Apparently you don't want to think about it and get back to me

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags your age, talking to youth, pleasure of flesh, not getting it, sought victory

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "When I was your age, Asok, I too sought the thrill of victory and the pleasure of the flesh." "But after twenty years of not getting either one, I made convenience my new mistress." "You know why I like talking to you?" Asok: "Because I am a good listener?" "No, because you're here."