Use As Excuse Comic Strips - Page 73

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733 Results for Use As Excuse

View 721 - 730 results for use as excuse comic strips. Discover the best "Use As Excuse" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ghosts Use Bitcoin

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Ghosts Use Bitcoin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #money, #die, #ghost, #password, #bitcoin, #clothes

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boss drinking coffee: they say you can't take your money with you when you die. but does that include bitcoin? because even a ghost can remember a password. dilbert: why would a ghost need money? boss: have you never noticed they all wear clothes?

Mind Control

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Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

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dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.

Dogbert Hovers

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Dogbert Hovers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #working from home, #annoy, #work, #hear, #footsteps, #hoover, #health, #coronavirus, #excuse, #living

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dilbert: i can't get any work done at home because i keep hearing your footsteps all day! dogbert: excuse me for living. i'll try hovering from now on. dilbert: can you do that? dogbert hovering: there's a lot you don't know about me.

Elbonian Spy

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Elbonian Spy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #face mask, #coronavirus, #spy, #foreigner, #data, #security, #racist, #excuse

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boss wearing face mask: our data security team informs me we have an elbonian spy in our midst. dilbert wearing face mask: maybe it's this elbonian guy you hired. elbonian wearing face mask: whoa, that is super racist. dilbert: is it you? elbonian: yes, but i don't see how that excuses you.

Noble Bad Data

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Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #accurate, #bad, #business, #data, #heroic, #managers & supervisors, #noble, #war

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boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.

Why Use Tests

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Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2020's comic on:


Tags #diseases, #health & safety, #medical, #office workers, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus, #diagnose

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Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

Emergency Project

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Emergency Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boring, #boss, #emergency, #excuses, #office workers, #technology, #work

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Dilbert: Do you have any emergencies for me to work on? Boss: I do. Dilbert: Perfect! I needed an excuse to avoid working on the boring parts of my job. Boss: I also need your status report by end of day. Dilbert: I would totally do that if not for this darned emergency.

How To Identify Good Ideas

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How To Identify Good Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #technology, #decision making, #smart, #people, #idiot, #agree, #disagree, #good, #bad, #idea, #rational

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dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.

Manage With Data

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Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable

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boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

Humans Making Decisions

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Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science

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dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.