New Employee Comic Strips - Page 73
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
1000 Results for New Employee
View 721 - 730 results for new employee comic strips. Discover the best "New Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 22,
2006
Saturday April 15,
2006
Tags the contractor, dream, regular employee, eat candy, poop emeralds
Transcript
The Contractor "My dream is to one day become a regular employee." "My dream is to eat candy and poop emeralds." "The difference is that I'm halfway successful."
Thursday April 13,
2006
Tags contract emplyee, dangling carrot, regular emplyee, understand metaphors
Transcript
I'll bring you on as a contract employee. "Then I'll keep you motivated by dangling the carrot of becoming a regular employee." "Your first mistake was assuming that he understands metaphors."
Tuesday April 11,
2006
Tags trigger automatic promotion, be that employee, part of team, not special
Transcript
I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."
Wednesday March 29,
2006
Tags outsourcing, design, communication, miscommunication, manufacturing, obliviousness, marketing, business
Transcript
We ship our new mp3 player in two days. How's the Elbonian factory coming along? "The prototype is the size of a small tractor and it will only play Elbonian polkas." "I'll budget a little extra for marketing." "It's made of asbestos."
Sunday March 26,
2006
Tags children, costume, embarrassment, parents, respect, work, tattoo, daught traylor, corporate environment, Family
Transcript
"What's that thing doing here?" "This is my daughter, Traylor." "I brought her to the office so she can learn about working in a corporate environment." "Okay, whatever. I have a new project for you." "Some idiot cut his finger. Now we have to do a safety awareness campaign." "Put on this dog costume. You're the mascot for our 'Spot' the safety hazard campaign." "Whenever anyone walks by, you say, 'Woof woof, don't use scissors.'" "Can I get a tattoo?" "Sure."
Wednesday March 15,
2006
Tags plant maintenance, contract, save money, adopt plant, unluckiest plant, coffee dregs
Transcript
"We canceled our plant maintenance contract to save money." "Each employee will adopt a nearby plant and water it." The Unluckiest Plant in the Whole World "Now when I pour my coffee dregs on you, it will look like work!" "Must...run..."
Sunday March 12,
2006
Tags catch and release, ceo seminar, hurt fish, inform life, new spouse, philosophy, set free, spin off compnay, without making decisions, be decisive
Transcript
"Welcome to Dogbert's catch-and-release CEO seminar." "Catch-and-release is more than a way to hurt fish for entertainment." "It's a philosophy that will inform your entire life." "For example, when you acquire a new company, wait a few years and then spin it off." "When you catch a new spouse, wait a few years and then set it free." Boot! "When you golf, hit that ball into a hole and then take it out." "Your ultimate goal is to look decisive without making any real decisions." "Good seminar. It makes fishing more fun when you know it hurts them!" "Ouch!"
Wednesday March 08,
2006
Tags finance troll, not in budeget, eats employee, prototype
Transcript
"And then we'll build a second prototype and..." "IT'S NOT IN THE BUDGET." "Oh, suddenly it's my fault for caring about the budget."


