Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 73

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Office Workers

View 721 - 730 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dinosaurs, downsized, fate, vote by email, jimmy carter, monitor voting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Should the Dinosaurs be downsized? You decide their fate." Bob, Dawn and Rex stand to one side looking worried. Vote by email: dinosaurs@unitedmedia.com A: I love the dinosaurs! B: Stick to office jokes! C: No talking animals! D: I don't have an opinion, but I like to vote! E: Get rid of everyone so I can use the blank space for notes. Ratbert says, 'There's a Jimmy Carter here to monitor the voting." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags disturbing pattern, soultions, problems, try last, old rags, due respect

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I've noticed a distrubing pattern. Your solutions to problems are always the things you try last." Alice says, "With all due respect, are you using your skull to store old rags or what?" The Boss says to Alice as she leaves her office, "It's a good thing you said, 'With all due respect.'" Alice rols her eyes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, doesn't know, being insulted, with all due respect, intangible benefits, insulting, monkey face

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I discoverd that our pointy-haired boss doesn't know he's being insulted if you say, 'With all due respect' first." Wally thinks, "I love the intangible benefits of this job." The Boss is leaving his office. Wally says to him, "With all due respect, is that your face or is a monkey climbing down your shirt headfirst?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags starting business, masseur, cubicle dwellers, touch my back, chair massage

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a ledge or table. Bob the dinosaur says, "I'm starting my own business as a masseur." He has a towel draped over his arm. Bob says, "My specialty will be in-office chair massages for cubicle dwellers." Wally sits at his desk in front of his computer and says, "Were you planning to touch my back at any point?" Bob massages Wally office chair and says, "It's a CHAIR massage, pervert."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags installing line, phone line, connected, network, yank wire, central offcie

View Transcript

Transcript

Installing an ISDN line Telephone repairman is sitting next to the phone jack. Repairman says, "First we need to make sure your phone line is connected to our network." Repairmen hands Dilbert a cordless phone. Repairmen says, "I'll yank the wire while you listen for a "whump" sound at the central office." Central office full of pipes. Wires spill out of one of the pipes. Man holding one of the wires is listening to the phone which is off the hook. Over the phone Dilbert is heard. Dilbert says, "I heard something."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flu, germs, fly through air, sneezed, tissue, sick, ill, contagious, office illness, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

An unnamed flunky says, "Don't worry about my flu, Alice. Germs don't fly through the air." He sneezes so hard his tissue is blown out of his hand. Aachooo! He looks at Alice and says, "Remember, germs don't fly through the air." ALice's hair is pushed back as if in the middle of a wind storm. She pushes up her sleeves, preparing to punch the guy and says, "Yours are gonna."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career talk, boss, office, work you, health deteriorates, obsolete, downsize, plan work fast, ill

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stadns in front of the Boss who is sitting at his desk. Dilbert says, "I'd like to talk about my career path." The Boss says, "Okay." The Boss says, "My plan is to work you until your health deteriorates and your skills are obsolete. Then we'll downsize you." Dilbert holds his stomach and says, "I'm ill." The Boss says, "Really? I've never had a plan work this fast before."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags industrial espionage program, secret reports, plan, fire dumb people, perfect cover

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Alice are talking in the hall over a cup of coffee. Bob walks up holding a box of his office supplies and says, "I've been chosen for the industrial espionage program." Bob gets an evil look on his face and says, "The plan is that I quit this job and go work for our competitor. Every week I'll send back secret reports." Alice says, "Bob, this is how we fire dumb people." Bob turns to go and says, "That's why it's the perfect cover."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help on assignment, no brainer, interface design, make beige, decisions, can't go wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is in The Boss's office. He holds some files and says, "I need help on the assignment that you said is a 'no brainer.'" The Boss says, "It's easy. Just skip the 'interface design' phase and make everything beige. You can't go wrong with beige." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I always know where to go for no-brainer decisions."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags call back, one hour, time zone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is walking by the Boss's office. He hears the Boss say, "I'll call you back in one hour, Irene." The Boss says, "You're in a different time zone, so you'll get the call in... um... three hours." Dilbert stops to listen. The Boss's eyes bug out in confusion and he says, "Really? You're three hours ahead? Then that means... whoa!.. you're freaking me out here!"