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Loving Yourself

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Loving Yourself  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #philosophy, #self love, #evil, #ignorant, #selfish, #lazy, #love

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boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!

Two Futures

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Two Futures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #psychology, #future, #brakes, #cliff, #die, #instant

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Dogbert The Futurist dogbert: i see two potential futures for you. in one future, your brakes fail and you drive off a cliff, dying instantly upon impact. office worker: and in the other future? dogbert: it's less instant.

Wally Will Be Right Back

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Wally Will Be Right Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #minute, #desk, #help, #mystery

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tina: do you have a minute to help me? wally: absolutely. i'll be right back after i drop off something at my desk. tina: i'll never see you again, will i? wally: don't take the mystery out of it.

Stress Can Kill You

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Stress Can Kill You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #coronavirus, #cortisol, #dead man walking, #depress, #fear, #immune, #increase, #scared, #social distancing, #system, #virus, #health

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dogbert: you have nothing to fear from the coronavirus but fear itself. obviously, the fear will increase your cortisol levels and depress your immune system so the virus can finish you off. dilbert visually shaken: now i'm scared. dogbert pointing: dead man walking!

Working At Home

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Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #accomplished, #business, #fort, #goof, #health, #home, #version, #working, #coronavirus

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day one of working from home dilbert thinking: i'm getting a lot done. day two of working from home dilbert thinking laying on the couch: if i goofed off a little, would anyone know? day three of working from home dogbert: lame fort. dilbert under fort made from couch cushions and blanket: it's version 1.0.

Social Distancing

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Social Distancing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #eighties, #health, #hug, #managers & supervisors, #practice, #social distancing, #virus, #coronavirus

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boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.

Wally Has Symptoms

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Wally Has Symptoms  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #lie, #office workers, #sickness, #pandemic, #virus

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Wally: My throat has a tickle, so I'd better take a month off of work. The coronavirus tests can have some false negatives, and I love you too much to put you at risk. Dilbert: Did it work? Wally: No, I sold it too hard.

Refusing Works

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Refusing Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #refuse, #stupid, #power, #leash, #head, #sarcasm

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dilbert: yesterday i refused to do something i had been asked to do because it was stupid. and it worked out fine. wally: don't let the power go to your head. dilbert doing happy dance: i am off the leash! continued...