Life Isn't Fair Comic Strips - Page 74

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

795 Results for Life Isn't Fair

View 731 - 740 results for life isn't fair comic strips. Discover the best "Life Isn't Fair" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #message, #office, #squirrels

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss to dilbert: ...and then i need you to... notification sound from dilbert's phone. the boss: don't do it. don't check that message. dilbert: but it might be important. the boss: it isn't more important than listening to your boss. dilbert: i have no way of knowing that. dilbert yelling: look! there's a squirrel on the printer! the boss turns around: i don't see a squirrel. the boss: did you check your phone? dilbert: was i suppose to just sit here and watch you looking for squirrels?

Prove A Negative

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Prove A Negative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #accusations, #negative

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo to dilbert: is this everything i need to know? dilbert: yes. ceo: how can you be sure there isn't something out there we don't know about? dlbert: are you asking me to prove a negative? ceo: it's more of an accusation than a question.

Beg And Pay Store

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Beg And Pay Store - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #buying, #selling, #begging, #internet

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!

Layoff Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

New Cubicles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Cubicles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Scourge Of Teamwork

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #insults, #office workers, #work, #teams

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.

New Tv Ad

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Tv Ad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #business ethics, #marketing, #men and women, #office workers, #relations between the sexes, #accuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.

Comic Like Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Comic Like Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Entertainment, #Comic, #simulation, #life, #superior, #being

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'm freaking out because i just learned there's a comic strip called "dilbert" that is exactly like my life. and look - this is exactly what i did today. it's as if i'm a simulation created by a superior being. dogbert: uh-oh, he's on-to me.